How Mars Retrograde Could Complicate Your Sex Life

It's a hormone-fueled season.


Looking for some that you-know-what-I-mean-nudge-wink-fist-bump kinda way? During this hormone-fueled season, we're gonna go with yes. But easy now. Tearing out of those high-waisted jeans is not a "zero fucks given" proposition this spring. From April 17 until June 29, passion planet Mars dips into its biennial retrograde, backstroking through volcanic Sagittarius (until May 27) and then retreating into sex goddess Scorpio's cave for a month. Which means our carnal desires could lead us down a complicated path instead of the treasure trail to pleasure. Since a temporary vow of celibacy isn't really an option for most, here are six star-fueled tips to slip in your astrological arsenal so you can navigate your spring awakening free from obsession.


1. Don't Pick Fights to Stir Up Excitement

Fierce Mars is the legendary warrior of the skies, known for rousing our combative natures. And while no one can argue the merits of clearing the air, the retrograde could make us a little too prickly (in fiery Sagittarius from April 17 to May 27) or ultrasensitive (in Scorpio from May 27 to June 29). A word to the wise: Choose your battles. Sounding off about every perceived slight or unanswered text could run a relationship into the ground. Mars is restless too, and during the retrograde we're bound to feel bored with anything routine or stable. Picking fights to provoke "passion" might seem like a fix, but pushing people's buttons could quickly devolve into a battle royale, and will inevitably burn bridges. If you're legitimately angry, vent to a neutral third party to release the charge, then have The Talk once you've cooled down.


2. Don't Mistake Aggression for Passion

Another word to the wise: Don't mistake aggression for passion. Mars energy can be confident bordering on cocky. An alpha asshole's swagger could easily arouse your cavewoman desire to make strong, healthy babies, red flags be damned! But is it excitement you're feeling, or a rush of survival-instinct adrenaline? Check in with yourself before you once again sob to your increasingly unsympathetic friends, "But I luuuuurrrrrve him." Remember: The four F's of the reptilian brain are fight, flight, feed and fuck. If you're doing a lot more of the latter two, you may be tangled up in a dangerous liaison. Perhaps it's time to back away from the bacon-wrapped everything and ignore the 2 A.M. dick pics. Use Mars retrograde to pull back and do some self-examination so you can make healthier choices when the planet pivots into direct motion again on June 29.

3. Pump Some Iron (Supplements)

With the planet of lust in sleep mode, our libidos can take a temporary nosedive. But if you keep on waving off bae with another, "Not tonight, I'm wiped out," it might be wise to book a checkup with the doctor. Mars rules iron (and all metal objects, in case you want to break out those handcuffs to liven things up). A deficiency of this mineral is common in women, especially if you exercise regularly or, well, have a period. But low iron can cause fatigue, weakness, and trouble concentrating, so it would be worth having those levels checked by your MD. Also, pump up the iron you put on your plate. This list of high-iron foods includes dark leafy greens and, yes, oysters, which everyone knows have aphrodisiac qualities. A single mollusk contains your entire RDA of iron, in fact, so meet for a seductive shellfish date then get your Iron Man on in the bedroom.


4. Plan Activity Dates

Another way to pull your mojo out of slow-mo during Mars retrograde? Get sporty, spiking your serotonin levels and inviting a rush of sexy endorphins to flood your body. Even if you find yourself struggling to roll out of the hammock this spring and summer, push yourself to the Pilates or spin studio. Energy is kinetic, and once you get in motion, you're likely to wake up and really enjoy being in motion. A long bike ride with bae or a vigorous game of tennis can move that stuck aggro energy of the retrograde and channel it into a healthy bonding experience—one that later translates into livelier romps in the sack. Hello, stamina!

5. Don't Jump the Gun

Too soon? Uh, most definitely. Impulsive, rash Mars is the planet that makes us react without thinking. While this sharp instinct is a gift when fast action is required, during the retrograde we're bound to jump the gun. It's fine to be excited. Eager. And even a little quietly desperate to make a relationship WORK. But we don't have to telegraph these feelings to the world, even if they are "authentic." While Mars is backtracking through candid Sagittarius until May 27, avoid blurting out "I love you!" on the third date or texting a hopefully-more-than-a-hookup seven times in a row (without a response) with your favorite band's latest video, emojis and pictures of your breakfast. And hold off on the naked pictures while Mars retreats through sexpot Scorpio from May 27 to June 29. A little mystery keeps the interest strong.

6. Practice Your Striptease, but Don't Feel Compelled to Give a Lapdance

The percolating passion of Mars in self-expressed Sagittarius and seductive Scorpio—a phase that lasts in total from January 3 to September 27—can bring a steamy window for sexual exploration. While Mars is tucked into this introspective retrograde from May 27 to June 29, we have space to explore our own erotic powers—approval ratings be damned. Loving our bodies, whether we're Beyoncé-blessed or not, is the prerequisite to relaxing into shared orgasmic bliss. If you're going to "dance like no one's watching" this spring and summer, do it in front of the mirror—and shower your reflection with nonstop approval and adulation. Check out classes like S Factor that are designed to help women connect to their "erotic creatures," or look into the work of Regena "Mama Gena" Thomashauer, a self-proclaimed "pleasure revolutionary." And let this journey be a largely solo exploration. One of the gifts of Mars retrograde is that it reminds us that our sexual enjoyment is directly proportional to how connected we are to our own thoughts and feelings. Eroticism isn't about putting on a show to delight an audience or seek validation—at least not without siphoning off a healthy chunk of that enjoyment for our own carnal bliss!

Originally composed by the AtroTwins for


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