This 'Bro' Thinks Rihanna Needs His Opinion About Her Weight...She Really Doesn't

Be prepared to get angry at some fat-shaming

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There's a really gross article on quite a gross website in the US called Barstool Sports, which is one of those 'bro' spaces that think being kind to people is political correctness gone mad and saying mean things makes them feel better about their porn addiction.

We're not going to link to it, but by all means search it for yourself.

They recently wrote an article which is, quite frankly, one of the grossest things we've read in a while.

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And gross is the word. It's not shocking or terrifying or any of those words that give any power to its gross writer (named Chris Spags). It's just gross - a thing that makes you go 'ewwww' and despair that people are so petty and we haven't moved on from this s*** in 2017.

The article was called, 'Is Rihanna going to make being fat the hot new trend?' With a photo of Rihanna wearing a deconstructed jeans and shirt combo, white boots (so on trend), what looks like a Dior bowling handbag, a blunt bob and red lips.

Basically another banging outfit from Rihanna, no surprises there.

The article's content was pretty disgraceful. Here's an exerpt:

'But it looks to me like Rihanna is rocking some new high key thiccness [sic]. And based on what I've seen, that means it's time to worry if you're not a guy who fancies himself a chubby chaser. '

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Spags goes on to explain how Rihanna is a trend setter, who has immense power as an influencer.

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Which is true.

He's doing that thing from the book 'The Game' where you insult someone whilst saying something nice to confuse them into sleeping with you. We promise you, Spags, you will never confuse anyone as woke as Rihanna to sleep with you.

But he goes on to explain how her power as an influencer could be terrible in this context, because it might persuade other women that it's ok to be 'thick' or 'fat'. God forbid 🙄.

He continues:

So you see her pushing 180 and it's a tough world to stomach. With all the fat acceptance and 'love me as I am' crowd, there's definitely a world where I could see chicks see Rihanna make some strong 'I don't give a fuck I just love pizza' quote that goes viral and bam we're in a world where all the hottest girls look like the humans in Wall-E. And just in time for summer too. A world of ladies shaped like the Hindenburg loaded into one-piece bathing suits may be on the horizon now that Rihanna is traipsing around out there looking like she's in a sumo suit. It's a dangerous precedent and you may want to start adjusting your porn browsing to primarily BBW porn to condition yourself to this dystopian future we now face.

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He closes the article with a collection of photos from her Instagram which he thinks she looks hot in.

How to respond to this?

- Do we explain to Chris Spags that the queenliness of Ashley Graham and Rihanna would never grace his skinny ass with a look?

- Read his level of thirst for writing such a basic, clickbaity article which isn't even funny in its offensiveness? (An opinion shared by his editor)

- Just shout 'DUUUDEEE... RIHANNA THOUGH' at him until he gets minor tinnitus?

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- Offer him some support since it's clear he's so insecure he has to bring down successful, Grammy-winning millionaires just to make himself feel better?

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- Explain to him that the only reason a future full of women loving themselves is dystopian to him, is because if we all had the confidence and self-respect of Rihanna, we wouldn't even touch him shit a shitty stick?

- Say, 'please, tell us more'.

- Go into a tirade of how deeply harmful the constant discussion of women's bodies is and how Rihanna's figure is not public property?

What I certainly won't do is discuss how 'thick' or not Rihanna is. Rihanna's 'thickness' is of no concern to me or anyone else, and by even addressing it we are accepting 'fat' as an insult.

Spags, get this straight bro, we aren't the 'love me as I am crowd' we're the 'I don't give a flying eff what you think think of me crowd'.

And, to be honest, it's really fun in this crowd, everyone is wearing really great boots, listening to Rihanna and yes, there is some pizza, because pizza is delicious. And you are gross.

That reminds me, we will actually be having a pizza, red lipstick, love yourself party later which everyone is invited to. Apart from Chris Spags, you can't come. Sorry.

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