'I Had A Miscarriage' - The Instagram Account Shedding Light On The Tragedy Of Losing A Baby

Jessica Zucker is the psychologist who trying to get rid of the stigma of losing a pregnancy one social media post as a time

MOST POPULAR

There are more and more women deciding to speak about their miscarriages publicly, where once it was thought shameful or taboo to do so.

Beyoncé (as well as Jay-Z) has slowly been revealing a history of miscarriages.

Jay-Z and Beyonce
ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Lily Allen has been open about her tragic miscarriages, one of which was technically a traumatic still birth, as the pregnancy was so advanced.

Nicola Sturgeon notably revealed she herself suffered a miscarriage at the age of 40, whilst she was Deputy First Minister.

However, considering one in four women suffer from miscarriages, the conversation is still suspiciously quiet.

We know that talking and sharing are effective tools when battling depression, grief and more.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with Prince Harry

The royals, Prince Harry and the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have been particularly vocal about the importance of opening up and speaking out about feelings of depression, grief or isolation, with the mental health charity 'Heads Together'.

Now there is a woman in the US who is attempting to dismantle the secrets shrouding miscarriage with her Instagram page, 'I Had A Miscarriage'.

The project is run by Jessica Zucker, M.P.H., Ph.D. an L.A.-based psychologist.

She was 16 weeks pregnant with her second child, in 2012, when she suffered a miscarriage.

Zucker had already been treating women after pregnancy loss for 10 years, as she specialised in women's reproductive and maternal mental health, when she went through it herself.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

According to Self, it was only then she truly understood the true weight of stigma surrounding miscarriage.

After two years mourning the loss of her baby and working through the murky reality of her situation, she decided to speak publicly about her journey.

In 2014 she started talking, and she wrote a heart-wrenching personal essay for the New York Times on 15th October, the US' 'Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day'.

In it she describes, in detail, the experience of losing her child in her home, alone.

After carrying the foetus to the doctors in a bag as she was hemorrhaging, her placenta was removed.

'Two hours later I went back to my house and was no longer pregnant,' Zucker told Self. 'That was pretty much the most profound thing that ever happened in my life. The most traumatic.'

She started the hashtag #IHadAMiscarriage on Twitter, encouraging other women to shaw their stories, to show that they are not alone.

ADVERTISEMENT - CONTINUE READING BELOW

Now the platform has grown to an Instagram account.

The posts include Zucker's personal ruminations on lost motherhood.

As well as contributed posts from other women around the world.

They page explores different aspects of the loss, including 'rainbow babies'.

@motherbeastie in Ireland shares: "My children make me want to wake up in the morning, they are my life. Two years ago on April 25th 2015, my world took a very dark turn. At 15wks I found out I had lost my baby and that night everything turned from heartache to much much worse. I'll skip most of the painful details, but it's fair to say that the doctor did not thoroughly explain the severity of "passing the products of conception" OUR BABY, at 15wks. But that night at home our world got dark, and it turned into a nightmare that I now understand has left me with hints of PTSD. It's much better now, but sometimes I'm a mess. There is no "normal" miscarriage, a loss is a loss, you're losing a baby, a sweet angel now gone - and my heart broke that night and turned into fear, something went wrong and I began to heavily haemorrhage on the toilet, unable to get off. Our dear friend drove us to the hospital because the ambulance would have been too late, and I needed to have a blind procedure/minor surgery in order to stop the haemorrhage and save my life. That weekend we spent in hospital will forever be etched in my mind and heart, the way I went from always having a hand on my bump that for whatever reason we hadn't really announced properly yet. To then being terrified to touch that empty womb because it was so wrong. Our world has changed a lot since then, we have poured our tears in grief and fear, through the trauma of it all. And losing our baby more than anything else, they don't tell you that when you have a late miscarriage that you might pass your baby whole - I did. We held her, and cried over her, we prayed over her and then we buried her. Under our roses, our roses we still have, that we hold dear and every time a rose blooms we cry a little and look at it as if it was her. Our Talulah Courage, our rose that still blooms." . _ #IHadAMiscarriage #miscarriage #ptsd #pregnancyafterloss #grief #loss #1in4

A post shared by Jessica Zucker, Ph.D. (@ihadamiscarriage) on

Rainbow babies are the babies that come after a miscarriage.

The idea is that after a storm, a rainbow appears as a sign of hope.

It also means that the rainbow baby could not have arrived without the storm, helping women view their miscarriages as something that should not be hidden.

Rainbow baby pregnancy can also be extremely difficult due to the fear that it will all happen again, 'I was [debilitated], psychologically, through my subsequent pregnancy," Zucker says. "Pregnancy after loss...you're basically returning to the very place of your trauma. You are meant to be there for nine months, every single day.'

Under the stories that she shares are endless messages of appreciation and sharing. It's clear these messages are taking effect - helping people heal and lifting the fog of loneliness.

More from ELLE UK: