Six weeks

The skinny:
To avoid the boredom and failure of most long term diets, which ordinarily takes hold around week two, I’m embarking upon six different diets in six weeks. I’m also taking up a new exercise regime which means I’ll be jogging and working out between three and five times per week.
The pros of the plan are that I’m unlikely to get bored and am always following the week one diet rules which are usually the most hardcore and effective. The down side is - this diet lasts six weeks! And there are six different diet books to read.

Week one: The Atkins Diet
Of all six diets Atkins is the most extreme so I get this one out of the way first. I did Atkins a few years ago and it worked - I’m fully versed in the art of avoiding carbs and am bracing myself for one major sugar detox.
However by day two it’s worse than I remember and the lack of sugar and caffeine are already giving me raging headaches. I crack and have a black coffee and dark chocolate! But feel much better for it – if a teeny bit guilty. Spend day three and four snacking on chicken and cheese, however when I weigh in I haven’t lost a pound and am devastated. Decide to stop cheating with the coffee and miniscule pieces of chocolate and apply myself more committedly – although I’m dreading the weekend when all usual treats (read alcohol) will be off the menu. By day five my appetite has vanished (but sugar cravings are horrendous) and I’ve completed my five exercise sessions (three lots of jogging and two one hour sessions of Pilates) but dinner at a friends house on day six is a minefield– have to slide bruschetta onto the boyfriends plate and pick kidney beans out of the chilli while pretending to eat more than the lettuce.
Total Weight loss – A disappointing two lbs considering the effort. Must be all the muscle I’m building!?
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Week two: South Beach Diet
I get clued up on South Beach diet – phase one is more or less identical to Atkins – except I’m now allowed asparagus, tomatoes, avocado and hummus! Have to admit – I’m a little scared to eat the hummus in case it ruins last week’s hard work.
I’m also reading ahead for next week's macrobiotic diet and it contradicts everything Atkins and South Beach have taught me so far– if this book is to be believed I’ll be storing fat not losing it! Aghh – Decide to buy scales that measure body fat % to keep this in check.
The sugar cravings get worse and are making me obsessed with anything sweet – this amount of deprivation is extreme and it’s making me overeat the things I don’t really want, like calorie loaded meat and cheese. It’s also these cravings, not hunger, that lead me to cheat with chocolate M&M’s.! On a more positive note the good thing about South Beach is that you can eat out and lunch options are easy. Manage three more jogging sessions and one hour long swim.
Total weight loss - I’ve put on the two lbs I lost last week! The BF tells me it’s because I'm doing so much exercise (I didn’t tell him about the M&M’s)
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Week 3: The Macrobiotic Diet
Having read the macrobiotic diet book I’m now utterly confused! Fish, meat and dairy are out and carbs and grains are in. I’m scared. Dr Atkins would say this will turn me into a fat pig. But I read on and discover that not all carbs are bad – no! Some carbs like pulses and grains contain no sugar so aren’t bad at all – yay! The Macrobiotic diet is all about balance - I’m intrigued (but not convinced) and am looking forward to hitting the shops and loading up with more than a mackerel and lettuce. Am practically salivating at the thought of oats for breakfast, rye bread with tahini and brown rice with tamari sauce – plus as much miso soup as I want.
After dipping my toe into pulses over the first two days I’m hooked - I’ve never felt better. I’m not craving anything sweet to put a full stop on my lunch – I’m full but not stuffed – and I feel totally balanced and satisfied and not at all bloated. I learn to cook things I can barely pronounce and don’t miss meat, fish or dairy one bit. This is dietary nirvana!
Total Weight loss - Three lb’s - although I only managed to exercise once because of work and the BF says this is muscle loss?
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Week Four: Five factor
On the five factor diet you diet for six days and can have one day off. You can eat five times a day, and you exercise five times a week. I start day one with my eating schedule. I’m eating at 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm and 8pm. Sounds easy – but actually it’s not that convenient. I’m trying to re-jig meetings around food! So the schedule is hard to stick to and as the five factor book is full of meals made with ingredients you can only get in the US I have to make it up myself a little. Each time you eat you have to eat five types of ingredients at each meal – although portions are small - by the end of day two I am stuffed. On a positive note I’m not tempted to cheat – but I feel I’m eating so much more than I normally would as I’m sticking to the schedule rather than eating when I'm hungry. I mange not five but six exercise sessions and really enjoy them! On my day off I make like Eva Mendes and have a pizza – this doesn’t feel like a diet at all.
Total weight loss – A big fat 0 – but I’m noticing muscles I never knew I had and my waist is looking smaller. BF says I'll soon look like Madonna!
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Week Five: The Cabbage Soup Diet
The cabbage soup diet takes all of five minutes to read– it is sooo simple. I stock up on veg and make a vat of the broth for the whole week. It sounds quite appetising - pour myself a giant bowl and tuck in – it’s disgusting.
That evening I meet a friend in the local, we’re both on diets and are meeting for coffee. Get to the bar and the coffee machine has just broken! We buy two mineral waters but we look like an AA meeting so return to the bar for Prosecco – one glass can’t hurt? Three glasses later I get home and feel really cross with myself – resolve to cancel all social arrangements for the next seven days - it really is the only way. The next day I start again – day one means only cabbage soup all day – and tea with milk. After skipping breakfast I’m so hungry by lunch time that I’m irritable and depressed – I load the cabbage soup up with black pepper even though the macrobiotic voice inside my head says no, it still tastes of nothing.
That night my Pilates teacher remarks on how quiet I am – I daren’t tell him I’m about to pass out through what feels like starvation. Go to bed early to minimise the temptation to cheat. On day two weigh myself and I’ve lost four lbs already!
On day four I look in the mirror and feel for the first time since Christmas that I wouldn’t actually mind stepping out in a bikini. Don my skinny jeans which I’ve avoided for ages, they look great. But, by the end of the week I feel like I have lost my mind – this diet is hardcore – I’m depressed, tearful and have no energy – I manage three jogging sessions and one Pilates, but can’t concentrate at work and have fallen out with the BF. As a one off diet for a quick result nothing beats this, but it's not a way of life!
Total weight loss – Eight lb’s. No comment from the boyfriend as we're not speaking.
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Week Six: Hypnotism
Hyponosis is less about dieting - thank the lord I’ve had about as much dieting as a person can take! Apparantly it’s more about changing the way you think about your body and what you eat. Hypnotist Marissa Peer describes this as the way to end dieting forever (yay!) and so I’m eager to give it my best shot. The hypnosis takes place in her office and is a 90 minute session, during the first half of which she asks me questions about my attitude to my body and food, and how I feel about eating. She asks about my family and eating habits as a child, and what I am hoping to lose. Then the hypnosis starts. She asks me to count to ten while imagining walking down some steps. At the time I feel aware that I’m hypnotized! And can remember Marissa asking me to revisit key moments in my life that have influenced how I feel about food and also when she asks me to recite phrases like, ‘I love my body’ and ‘I love this way of eating, it works for me’. Immediately after the session, I’m not sure anything’s changed, but after three days I suddenly realise that I’ve almost completely cut out dairy and wheat (the foods I asked to cut out) from my diet, without even thinking about it – I havn’t felt like eating them, and I haven’t even thought about biscuits and chocolate ( my biggest downfall).
Total Weight loss : Four lb’s. This is by far the easiest diet I have every done – I just hope it lasts! So does my boyfriend.
Private sessions cost £225 and last 90 minutes, Call 020 7371 9367 or click here to visit the website.
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The verdict:
The last six weeks have been more of a journey than a diet, I’ve learnt a lot about nutrition and discovered lots of new foods so I’m really glad I did it. Firstly I’m keeping the cabbage soup book close to hand – for pre-holiday times, I’ll definitely re-visit this diet – it works and I’m glad I discovered it. Secondly I discovered foods and recipes on the macrobiotic diet that I love and have decided to carry on with macrobiotic eating for the foreseeable future. I can’t imagine gorging on meat and dairy ever again and haven’t had coffee for six weeks! Finally I feel fitter than ever – jogging is cheap and convenient and it clears your head - you just need motivation. I’ll be sticking to it all summer.

Difficulty rating – 4/5 as some of the diets are extreme and to stick to them as well as the exercise you basically have put your social life on hold for six weeks. Overall though I’d say it was worth it. I’ve learnt a lot and feel great.