Anyone who is short (or a PORG – a Person Of Reduced Growth) will know that life's not always easy when you're almost the same height as a Borrower:
- Concerts are notoriously tricky.
- Bathroom mirrors are always too high.
- The shallow end of the pool is anything but shallow.
- Strangers always seem to crouch down when they talk to you. ('I'm small not deaf, you giant.')
- Friends always think it's funny to suggest buying you a booster seat for the car.
One person who knows all about the daily challenges for petite women is Kim Kardashian, who comes in at approximately 5ft3in.
But, it's often quite hard to remember that Kim's not as tall as her younger sisters, especially when she's photographed rocking runway couture gowns and socialising with a bevvy of supermodels.
So, what's her secret?
A few days ago, the 35-year-old reality star wrote a blog post titled 'Short-Girl Problems: My Top 3 Tips For Lengthening Your Look' in an attempt to help small women around the world elongate their legs.
'I've learned that there are a few really good styling tricks for short girls like me. They're simple and make all the difference. Not everyone is Kendall, LOL!' she wrote.
LOL indeed, Kim.
Now, seeing as the star is a bit too obsessed with the 90s trend at the moment we must admit, we advise taking Kim's advice with a pinch of salt (and a shot of tequila because you might need to be bit tipsy to consider using her fashion advice.)
Here it goes:
Wear nude or clear heels
Kim's advice: 'Wearing nude, skin-tone or clear shoes elongates your legs!'
Right, so let us get this straight.
Nudity (or the semblance of it) helps to make you appear taller? Interesting.
Secondly, she's telling us to wear clear shoes. Anyone who has ever been in a hot club will know sweaty feet are not a good look. Clear shoes are like an athlete's foot invitation are they not?.
Who on earth told Kim, that was a good look?
We have one guess…
Wear calf-length pants
Kim's advice: 'Another trick for looking taller is cropped leggings. They make your legs look way longer!'
Woah. Hold the phone.
Kim, you're telling us to wear cropped leggings to appear taller. But, we thought anytime a short person wears cropped trousers, it makes them look even shorter because it cuts off their legs mid-leg?
Does this now mean we can wear culottes without looking like we've shrunk our flares in the wash? This goes against everything we believe in.
ALWAYS wear high heels
Kim's advice: 'It's not a secret that I wear heels 99 percent of the time. If I do wear flats, it's a momentous occasion, lol. I live in heels because they're the best way to look taller.'
Yes, Kim. Heels make you appear taller because they add height. It's not exactly a tip as much as a mathematical fact.
- Stand Kim on a car and she'll appear taller.
- Stand Kim on Everest and she'll appear taller.
- Basically, stand Kim on anything and we'll bet she'll seem taller.
Kim, high heels hurt – like a lot. We'd rather just wear trainers and stand on a chair all night, to be honest.
Anyway, it looks like she forgot to mention the best tip of all – just get your partner to crouch down everywhere you go...
You're welcome, Kim.