Ever since the scandal that saw John Galliano fired from his post at Dior and admitted to rehab hundreds of column inches have been dedicated to the subject, but the designer himself has remained resolutely silent. Now, he has spoken about the incident for the first time in an in depth interview with Vanity Fairs Ingrid Sischy, and today some of his comments have been released.
It sounds a bit bizarre, but I am so grateful for what did happen, he says. I have learned so much about myself. I have re-discovered that little boy who had the hunger to create, which I think I had lost. I am alive.
Explaining his anti-semitic comments he says, Its the worst thing I have said in my life, but I didnt mean it... I have been trying to find out why that anger was directed at this race. I now realize I was so f*****g angry and so discontent with myself that I just said the most spiteful thing I could.
My assistant told me about the video. When I saw it, I threw up. The feeling was like I was about to take a step out onto the street and a bus or truck whooshed past me and the blood was drained from my legs. I was paralysed from the fear.
Talking about his alcohol addiction he says, I never drank in order to be creative, or to do the research, I didnt need alcohol for any of that. At first alcohol was like a crutch outside of Dior. Then I would use it to crash after the collections.
The interview reveals that both Sidney Toledano, CEO of Dior, and Bernard Arnault, CEO of LVMH, talked to him about his alcoholism, telling him that he would die if he didnt seek help. Galliano responded by ripping open his shirt and saying, Does this look like the body of an alcoholic?
Galliano also thanks friend Kate Moss for asking him to design her Zelda Fitzgerald-inspired wedding gown. Creating Kates wedding dress saved me personally because it was my creative rehab. She dared me to be me again.
The supermodel herself reveals that, when my dad gave his speech he thanked everyone and then he referred to the genius of Galliano, who made his daughters dress. Everyone stood up and gave John a standing ovation. It was the most moving thing, because suddenly John realised he wasnt on his own.
The full interview appears in this months issue of Vanity Fair.