I usually think of myself as dressing to the beat of my own drum, but when it comes to Kylie Jenner, I'm basically the copycat classmate from Mean Girls. So when I saw Kylie wearing clear plastic booties, I had to have a pair.
Instead of duping King Kylie's totally clear shoes, I went with a black-trimmed version from Love Culture.
My outfit looked fierce, and I even threw in Kylie's signature "vague arm raise." (Told you I'm a stan.) But contrary to what my carefully filtered Instagram suggests, the reality of these see-through shoes was not even remotely glamorous.
Unlike Cinderella and her clear glass slippers, my transparent booties didn't glide on with the first attempt. Or the second or third.
See, you can't wear socks because ~fashion,~ and the tough plastic sticks to skin. So I had to lube up my feet with the thickest body butter I could find. Only then did the shoes slide into place.
From there, I thought it would be smooth sailing, but I was in for a repulsive surprise. What the flawless pics of Kylie don't tell you is that a few minutes in, these futuristic shoes start looking like the car scene from Titanic.
The trapped heat from my feet basically turned the booties into shoe-shaped greenhouses – steamy, moist and probably great for growing moss.
Granted, my shoes came with holes poked in the sides for ventilation, but the pinpricks (and peep toes) were no match for the sweaty condensation building up near my lower extremities. By the end of the day, my feet looked more like the rainforest enclosure at the zoo than the modern Cinderella vibe I was going for.
The steamy experience initially left me feeling like I'd failed Kylie and myself (and Cinderella and Rose from Titanic somehow?). I later learned that I'm not the only one who's caught a case of swamp foot from this trend. Tons of other girls across the internet have been slipping and sliding in fogged-up booties.
I thought about retiring my transparent shoes, but my weakness passed. If Kylie can live with steamy feet, so can I.
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