The show notes said the collection's influence had come from the four corners, but that was putting it mildly. There are far more than four corners in the world as seen by Vivienne Westwood for AW13.
It started in the Highlands, with swaddling tartan capes and bagpipes on the sound system. Then, just as suddenly we were on the streets of Buenos Aires in white silk crepe dresses with a narrow silhouette that Eva Peron might have worn. From the 1940s, then, to the 1990s, where cobwebby lurex knits were layered up with slogan tees and platform boots. Slinky sequined dresses had Flintstone frayed hems, woollen coats were daubed with track marks of paint.
It didn't really matter where and when the clothes came from though: all the Westwood trademarks were present and correct - the nip-tuck tailoring, the capacious busts, the standout seams along the hips. The girls wore their hair in long plastic-wrapped plaits and had their make-up daubed on in otherworldly colours - they didn't belong anywhere except in their own timeless rebellion.
At the end, the bride emerged in a wispy slip of bias-cut white silk, a yellow bouquet in her hands and steam punk boots on her feet.
From the Highlands to the hinterlands and from Medieval Europe to Monet's Waterlilies, it was a journey with more twists, turns and back road detours than your average Paris taxi ride.
But when Dame Viv came out at the end, resplendent in red to take her bow, it all made sense. We hadn't got lost at all - we'd just taken the scenic route.
