Wanting to keep your sex exciting and fun when in a long-term relationship is perfectly normal, because for most of us, the frequency dwindles somewhat over time. That's certainly nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to (almost) everyone. And while some couples are totally groovy with that, others might want to inject a little bit of summin summin to bring back those early days of fun sex.
Reddit user thisissatire started an AskWomen thread, encouraging women in long-term relationships to explain how they do just that. This is what they said.
"Don't let it become routine"
"I've been sexually active for almost three years, if that counts. I don't really like the idea that sex has to be a constant parade of fun and excitement, but I think it's good not to let it get routine. We do new stuff every once in a while. [We] did sex dice on Valentine's Day, which was cool." [via]
"Be creative"
"Communication. Be open. Be creative within your comfort zone. Leave your comfort zone for experimentation, if [you] both trust each other completely. Finding out your kinks line up [with each other's] 100% is also a plus!" [via]
"Let it happen spontaneously"
"Sometimes, I'll put on lingerie and nice clothes and seduce him, other times we will just be all over each other all day until we can't take it any more. We never plan it, it just all happens spontaneously. We love each other and like being close to one another.
"I've been too poorly for a long time, and we both really miss each other in that way. Can't wait until I'm well enough! We have lots of cuddles but that's all I can handle at the moment. I wish I could do more for him at least, but he won't let me risk it!" [via]
"Talk about it, loads"
"Firstly, we keep our core relationship solid. We have ground rules we follow, like general daily kindness and respect. We endeavour to do loving, thoughtful things for one another daily - so that we have solidly good feelings about one another. This matters hugely for us. If that gets off, everything is off.
"As for the sex stuff, we talk a ton about it, it's a conversation that is easier all the time. We talk about new ideas, interests (which can for sure change over time, for all of us). We make sure we are supportive in our reactions to things, even if it's a no. We avoid ruts and routines the best we can. We have kids too, so we learned we need toprioritise making time for sex, and for us that means daily. We do try new things, we vary what we do, when we do it, where, etc. I absolutely do think our sex life is very fun and still exciting this far into it." [via]
"Don't chase excitement"
"If you're looking for sex to be constantly novel and exciting you're gonna have a bad time. Sex is fun because it's sex. I enjoy doing it because I do it with someone I love, and because our brains are wired to enjoy it. It doesn't have to be new and different all the time to be good, and if you keep chasing that you'll be constantly disappointed." [via]
