Think of the world’s most mysterious figures: think Banksy. Think Lord Lucan. Think Kristen Stewart… But today, we thought that was all about to change. No, no, we didn't get word that Banksy is embarking on his own one-man cabaret tour (still waiting on that announcement, any day now). But what we DID dare to believe was that, finally, the enigma that is K-Stew was about to let us into her private world via the wonders of Instagram. And oh, how we celebrated.
In the past, Kristen, 24, has famously been opposed to social media, once raising the objection that: ‘I’m going to die because somebody is going to… Twitter my location and then it's going to be like, boom.’ Bet you didn’t know that tweeting about what a nice sandwich you had for lunch was such a daredevil activity, did you?
But today we thought she'd had a change of heart and bowed to the public pressure, campaigns and endless petitions, when an Instagram account was opened under the name '@k.j.stewart'. Up went a series of 'selfies' of the star, and snaps with friends. ‘Hello Instagram’ read her first picture. ‘HELLO KRISTEN!’ it replied, as the account topped over 13,000 followers a mere six hours after the post.
And oh, what important revelations came to light. Not least this pic of her hair from the halcyon days when it was able to be plaited – accompanied by the intriguing caption ‘miss my hair’. Ooooh, we thought, so THAT's the reason for her sullen expression in photos: the anguish and inner turmoil that can only be caused be pining for your long tresses. It truly seemed a historic day.
So imagine, just imagine the crushing disappointment, the sense of loss that came when, this very afternoon, it was announced that the account is a FAKE. Say it ain't so! But, alas, it was. It seems K-Stew's fear of Twitter snipers still holds true, and we are condemned to be left wondering whether she really DOES miss her long hair.
Oh Kristen, we hardy knew ye.