1. You accidentally get caught in the parade when trying to
cross the road then realise you've marched all the way to Trafalgar Square with
the LGBTQ badminton association and are now very seriously considering taking
up the sport
2. A police person poses for a picture with a boy in hot pants
and angel wings and this inevitably ends up in the broadsheet papers the next
day as the defining image of Pride
3. You wake up covered in glitter and have no idea why
4. You vow that there is no way on Earth you will end up at G.A.Y bar. Then you end up at G.A.Y bar
5. Your white trainers will be ruined for ever
6. You recognise at least 45 per cent of any given crowd from Tinder/Grindr
7. There's no way you will actually meet up with anyone you casually said 'let's try and meet up at Pride' with
8. You will have an existential crisis at around 8pm where you wonder 'what am I still doing here?'
9. You try reconnecting with that one person you once knew who had a flat on Old Compton Street. They never message you back.
10. You realise this is the politest mass crowd you've ever been squashed in
11. A man in a gimp mask will let you push in front of him in the queue for the portaloos
12. A drag queen throws you shade but you love it
13. If you're over 30 you marvel at how many teenagers are out these days
14. If you're under 30 you think it's so cute there are so many old people here
15. You end up flirting with the only straight person in the bar (but it's Pride, so they're into it)
