Drake posted a pic of work sesh at his apartment or some similarly casual space on Instagram yesterday. The photo was meant to promote the forthcoming mixtape "4 MILLI" from bodyguard-turned-rapper Baka Not Nice, whom Drake signed to his OVO Label after Baka got out of jail for, I would presume, behavior that was Not Nice. Obvi I support Drake, our most earnest pop star, in all of his endeavors, but I have to say I care far less about this collabo than I do about the giant photo of Beyoncé that is just casually hanging on Drake's wall.
I saw this and I literally shouted "Same!" at my phone.
Same what even? Same everything. All of it. Same to using Beyoncé's face as classy decor. Same to unabashedly stanning. Same to recognizing that there is no better way to spruce up your place than with the queen herself.
I'm throwing away every wooden block I own that reads "Live Laugh Love" and "Life's a Beach" and "It's Wine O'Clock!" and replacing them with every image of Beyoncé I can find. Home Goods could never.
I would die for a transcript of Drake's conversation with his interior designer.
Designer: For this wall, we're thinking a big piece of statement art. Maybe a Kandisky or a Rothko.
Drake: The only statement I want to make is Beyoncé.
Designer: Would you like us to reach out to her then?
Drake: No. I found this photo in a magazine. Can you just make that art?
Designer: I don't understand.
Drake: Bzz. Bzz. Bzz.
Drake is officially the coolest person in his dorm with this photo. He's going to be the king of Upgrade U.
Meanwhile, somewhere Rihanna is like "I see how it is, Drizzy."
I'm just kidding. You know Drake has an entire wing of his house dedicated to RiRi. He's got a Beauty and the Beast library except instead of books it's just thousands of photos of Rihanna that, together, make up one giant photo of Rihanna. Once a day Drake wanders in there and sheds a single tear.
Don't believe me? Here he is wearing Rihanna on his socks. His design scheme is Your Fave Could Never. Extremely same.
Even before the picture of the Beyoncé-blessed workspace I was obsessed with Drake's moody Instagram. Drake has a lot of feelings and he would like to subtly hint at them for you through pictures.
Here he is being sad about a hookah:
Here he is being distressed by a watermelon:
Here he is being despondent next to luggage:
You can't see Drake's face in this new shot but it's a foregone conclusion that no one can be sad next to a 30" x 40" image of Beyoncé's face.
This photo, shot by Alasdair McLellan, is not available in poster size. So, one must assume that Drake made this particularly perfect piece of pop art himself. I can just imagine Drake walking into his neighborhood Staples with the S/S 2013 issue of the magazine The Gentlewoman where he found this and telling the printing associate "You know what to do. It's time to fix my life." Same. Extremely same.
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R. Eric Thomas is a columnist for ELLE.com, where he skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude. He is also the author of Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America, a memoir-in-essays.
