Y'all need to leave Kim Cattrall alone about this third Sex and the City movie because she is not here for it. Call her Kelly Clarkson because she is already gone. In a new interview with Piers Morgan (of all people) Cattrall clapped back at the rumors that her "diva demands" shut down productions on a planned sequel, as well as comments from her former co-stars.
"I never asked for any money, I never asked for any projects, to be thought of as some kind of diva is absolutely ridiculous," the actress told Morgan. "The only project that I wanted as a producer to make was Sensitive Skin and I made it and it was nominated for Emmy."
OMG, "I made it and it was nominated for an Emmy" is the perfect retort. It's the screen actor's version of Mariah's "Well, it went to number one and that's what it is, okay?"
Honey, don't disparage Kim Cattrall in these streets. She's got an Emmy nomination and she is not the one. She got a swag bag; she went to a luncheon. She is over it.
Not only did she not hold out on appearing in hopes of getting another project produced, as a DailyMail article claimed last week, but Kim didn't ever want to be in the new film. Kim tells Piers that she thrice had to reject the offer to appear in the film, like a character out of some sort of high-fashion parable.
First, the Ghost of Sequels Past made an offer. "Last December I got a phone call and it was concerning that and I knew exactly, I could feel it, and the answer was simply, 'thank you, but no, I'm good.'"
Then! Months later Sex and the City 3: Why Though appeared in Sweden, like a defeated Bond villain risen from the ashes. "I get a call in Sweden and what I hear then is, 'but we just want to talk about it a little bit,' I said, 'thank you very much, I'm very flattered but thank you, no.'"
Finally, like Laurie Strode in Halloween, the actress found herself facing off against the flick once more, back where it all began. "I come back to New York [they say] 'we believe that the period of time you have spent connected to this franchise you really should sit down with one of the creators and they can talk to you about, just talk to you about it.'"
Once again, Cattrall was a hard pass. The producers, I assume, burst into flames crying, "SMITH JARRETT IS MY NAME!"
It's all very dramatic.
For her part, Kim C. is not pressed. "This is about a clear decision, an empowered decision in my life to end one chapter and start another. I'm 61. It's now," she said. I presume at that point she burst into "Rose's Turn" from Gypsy.
Later she added, "I feel like I came out of this on top. This has given me a fantastic platform. Sarah Jessica, she could have been nicer, she could have in some way. I don't know what her issue is, I never have." Honey, Kim Cattrall really can't be bothered with any of this and it's delicious. Last week SJP confirmed that the sequel would not move forward to E! "It's not just disappointing that we don't get to tell the story and have that experience, but more so for that audience that has been so vocal in wanting another movie."
No shade to SJP, whom I forever love and adore, but what are you talking about? Who is demanding another Sex and the City movie?
Look I'm sorry to be that person but we must acknowlege that Sex and the City 2 was a travesty. I'm just going to say it. I've been going to the Kim Cattrall School of Telling the Truth and Leaving the Drama for Your Mama. It's now.
SATC 2 was rough, honey. And, not for nothing, it contained some very icky Middle Eastern politics. Why are you giving me Miranda in a burka, honey? In what world do I want that?
I was rooting for it. We were all rooting for it. How dare it? I wanted to love it so badly. I showed up on opening night! I sat on the front row! I wore a fascinator! But 15 minutes in I was already over it. Sticking a Post-in to the screen like "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me."
How do you take Liza Minnelli doing "Single Ladies" and not come up with gold?
Anyway, it's a no for me and for Kim Cattrall. Graciously, she doesn't seem to hold any ill-will to the franchise. "I want them to make the movie, if that's what they want to do," she says. "It's a great part. I played it past the finish line and then some and I loved it and another actress should play it, maybe they could make it an African American Samantha Jones or a Hispanic Samantha Jones?"
I adore this. Kim Cattrall's regrets to inform you that the old Samantha Jones can't come to the phone right now. Maybe Tracee Ellis Ross wants to pick up a tidy check in the off season. Perhaps JLo is bored. Who knows? All she knows is you better Kim Ca-call them instead. Consider her Barry Manilow because she's finally out.
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R. Eric Thomas is a columnist for ELLE.com, where he skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude. He is also the author of Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America, a memoir-in-essays.
