It is a fact that Justin Trudeau is actually Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. This has been extensively covered by many in the truth news media, including me and also me. His raven hair, his icy blue eyes, his beguiling grin all conspire to give him the unmistakable visage of one of the least problematic Disney princes. This can't come as a surprise to Trudeau; I believe he's been slyly hinting at his real identity for years. Today: a deep dive into the true Trudeau, a cartoon prince from the '90s. First, let's look at the defining characteristics of Prince Eric:
1. Looks generally dreamy.
2. Hangs out with redhead, often water adjacent.
3. Gets married, which apparent involves chest touching.
4. Is still okay with yet more chest touching.
5. Has collarbones.
6. Does this once.
Got it? Good. Now on to Trudeau.
Super fond of blousy white shirts.
Even wears blousy white shirts with rolled up sleeves on weekends.
Walked on a beach.
LOVES. WHITE. SHIRTS. WITH. ROLLED. UP. SLEEVES.
DREAMY!
White shirts. Obsessed.
Still! Dreamy!
Living his best life in white shirts with rolled up sleeves.
Had dinner. WITH SOMEONE WITH RED HAIR.
Literally acting out the lyrics to "Kiss the Girl" right now.
Was wet once, which is something Prince Eric did.
Looks adorably befuddled, which is how Prince Eric spends half the movie.
Hangs out with redheads.
Such good friends with redheads.
R. Eric Thomas is a columnist for ELLE.com, where he skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude. He is also the author of Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America, a memoir-in-essays.
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