The 10 Sexiest Music Videos of All Time
Rihanna's in all of them, only sort of kidding.
You'd think the purpose of a music video would be to add another layering of meaning to the sound and lyrics. But sometimes, the other point is to have a bunch of celebrities pour suspiciously watery milk on their spandex-bound bodies, because that is provocative—and that's showbiz, baby. Here, 10 of the sexiest, steamiest visuals to ever come up on your computer screen at work (then quickly minimized when your boss/that colleague who's already seen you retaking a quiz on what type of potato you are passes by).
Beyoncé, "Partition"
Notes: Beyoncé wears loads of sparkly, skimpy outfits and dances. We could've stopped anywhere in that sentence, and this video would still be on this list.
Sample comment: "Lmao if you hadn't already orgasmed during the first three minutes and fifteen seconds of the video, they added the leopard print scene smh 😫❤️"
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Britney Spears, "Toxic"
Notes: The one that makes all your friends go "Please, no" when it comes on and you start trying to recreate the choreo. Also known as the one with the crystal bodysuit.
Sample comment: "When this music video was first shown on tv...I had to put my penis in a wheelchair."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
D'Angelo, "Untitled (How Does It Feel)"
Notes: It is literally just D'Angelo standing there and singing, but is that not enough?
Sample comment: "I wanna jump in this screen and kiss his everything 😍 ." (At first, I typed "hump" instead of "jump." Accidentally.)
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Fergie, "M.I.L.F.$"
Notes: As you might have guessed from the title and the very specific spelling of it, this one is about women who have had children but are still sexy and fun. Yeah! Chrissy Teigen and Kim Kardashian and Alesandra Ambrosio all star in it, and there are dance numbers and lots of lycra outfits. Fun!
Sample comment: "This softcore movie has a very good soundtrack."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥
Jennifer Lopez feat. Iggy Azalea," Booty"
Notes: Butts. Oiled-up butts. Butts barely contained by swimsuit bottoms. Butts everywhere.
Sample comment: "I can't stop watching."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Nelly, "Hot in Herre"
Notes: A classic tune about a perfectly natural and logical response to being in a warm environment and needing to remove clothing for your body to adjust.
Sample comment: "It's still hot in here 2017."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Rihanna, "S&M"
Notes: What did you think it was going to be about?
Sample comment: "It's all about sex lol." (Thank you, lisa7540.)
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Selena Gomez, "Hands to Myself"
Notes: A Fatal Attraction-y concept in which Selena Gomez wears lingerie, writhes around on/in bed/in the bath with/without a dude.
Sample comment: "50 shades of Gomez."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Shakira feat. Rihanna, "Can't Remember to Forget You"
Notes: Two extremely sexy ladies lean against walls seductively.
Sample comment: "Shakira's choreographer seems to have a strange fetish for walls."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (or 10/10 walls with molding)
The Weeknd, "Earned It"
Notes: While Fifty Shades largely emerged as an inadvertent comedy, the music has always been killer, especially this song by Abel, which features a cool burlesque routine by a bunch of sexy ladies wearing pasties and one suspended from the ceiling trussed up like poultry you want to cook evenly.
Sample comment: "This song makes me wanna go out and find a daddy."
Rating: 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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