With an international modeling career and multiple acting roles in Hollywood under her belt, you'd assume Cara Delevingne would be revelling in her continued fame and success.

But in a recent interview with Esquire UK, the 23-year-old opens up about her ongoing battle with mental illness, admitting the pressure to succeed made her start to feel suicidal at the age of 16. 

 When it got to being a teenager and all the hormones and the pressure and wanting to do well at school I had a mental breakdown 
Cara Delevingne during Victoria's Secret catwalk | ELLE UKpinterest
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 I was suicidal. I couldn't deal with it anymore. I realised how lucky and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die. I felt so guilty because of that and hated myself because of that, and then it's a cycle. I didn't want to exist anymore. I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate. I wanted to die. 

The Suicide Squad actress – who poses on the cover of Esquire naked – also admitted that when she hit 18-years-old she decided to come off her anti-depressants and started to 'feel things again'. 

 And that week, I lost my virginity, I got into fights, I cried, I laughed. It was the best thing in the world to feel things again. And I get depressed still but I would rather learn to figure it out myself rather be dependent on meds, ever. 
Cara Delevingne and Margot Robbie Suicide Squad Comic Con | ELLE UKpinterest
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Meanwhile, the model-turned-actress – who has previously fronted high-profile fashion campaigns for the likes of Burberry, Chanel and Rimmel – says she finally found solace in acting, following years of worrying what she looked like in front of the camera as a model. 

 I do things to my face to make it look better. Even when I'm walking down a catwalk I suck in my cheeks and do looks. [As a model] you're always aware of where the camera is.
 When you're doing a movie, unless the part's about putting on some kind of allure, you're really trying to not be aware of anything except what the character is feeling.
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She also shed light on her new-found love with rumoured fiance American singer St Vincent, after previously being romantically linked to Harry Styles and Michelle Rodriguez. 

 It's like, when you find a real love, you look back on the other loves you've had and you're like, 'Ooh, that was a bit destructive. 

However, despite her success and an Instagram account that boasts 31.7million followers, Cara reveals she is concerned for how young women are using social media for fame. 

Cara Delevingne outside Burberry | ELLE UKpinterest
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 There are too many girls who are growing up way too quickly, sexualizing themselves from such an early age. Everyone wants to be famous just to be famous. Everyone spends too much fucking time on their phones.
 It just depresses me so f*cking much, it really does. So many kids now, they don't want to meet you to talk to you. They're just like, 'I want a photo of you to show people. 

Read Cara's full interview in Esquire's September 2016 issue.

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Katie O'Malley
Site Director

Katie O'Malley is the Site Director on ELLE UK. On a daily basis you’ll find Katie managing all digital workflow, editing site, video and newsletter content, liaising with commercial and sales teams on new partnerships and deals (eg Nike, Tiffany & Co., Cartier etc), implementing new digital strategies and compiling in-depth data traffic, SEO and ecomm reports. In addition to appearing on the radio and on TV, as well as interviewing everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Rishi Sunak PM, Katie enjoys writing about lifestyle, culture, wellness, fitness, fashion, and more.