If there's one rule in the history of breakfast which has formed the foundations of our very civilization, it's don't mess with the Weetabix.
No, I'm being serious.
Don't try and be all fancy and drip agave nectar on it, don't smother it in any health sprinkle that smells like feet (with your dreams of looking like Gwyneth Paltrow) or coat it in almond milk that you've attempted to squeeze from actual almonds – leave it the f*ck alone.
A glug of milk, a minute or two in the microwave, a bit of fruit (if you're posh) and boom, breakfast is done.
So, imagine our disgust when we found out the makers of Weetabix had the audacity to destroy everything that was sacred in the world and suggest consumers use the wheaty brick-like cereal to make Eggs Benedict.
Oh, and we're not the only ones who weren't happy with this nightmare scenario:
In its new cereal campaign, Weetabix tried to explain their decision, writing: 'Eggs Benedict is an American breakfast, but we've made it British by switching a muffin for our nutritious Weetabix.'
First of all, my Weetabix making friend, why would you remove the one thing that gives Eggs Benedict a relation to the English – the muffin.
Secondly, can you imagine popping a dry piece of Weetabix in your mouth smothered in egg and hollandaise sauce? It sounds like one of those horrific scenes at a university hockey initiation.
Make it stop. Just, make it stop.
Fortunately, Weetabix has realised the error in its ways and admits they might have drunk a bit too much of the ol' Kool-Aid when they thought Eggs Benedict with Weetabix was a good idea.
Weetabix, we think you need to go and have a long hard think about who you really are.
Katie O'Malley is the Site Director on ELLE UK. On a daily basis you’ll find Katie managing all digital workflow, editing site, video and newsletter content, liaising with commercial and sales teams on new partnerships and deals (eg Nike, Tiffany & Co., Cartier etc), implementing new digital strategies and compiling in-depth data traffic, SEO and ecomm reports. In addition to appearing on the radio and on TV, as well as interviewing everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Rishi Sunak PM, Katie enjoys writing about lifestyle, culture, wellness, fitness, fashion, and more.
