What Ridiculous, Expensive Thing Is Goop Telling Us To Do Now?

Burn your bra, but not for the reason you think...

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Bra Burning
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You know what?

We're up for a bit of second-wave feminism bra burning occasionally over here at Elle.

We understand the draw-backs of such 'radical' displays nonconformity, but some times, you just wanna say f*** it, I'm not being a woman by your rules anymore, you know?

So when we heard Goop was telling us to burn our bras we were non-plussed, but kind of ok with it.

Free the nipple, why the heck not?

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But then we read on a little further and learnt we should burn our bras to get over our exes.

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Hmmm.

Now, we've heard of burning their photos (or deleting them from your hard-drive), binning their t-shirts, selling all their leftover crap in your flat.

We get it, things that remind you of them must be erased off the face of the earth.

In fact, if your ex could simply cease to exist once you were over, it would be quite useful.

But why blame the lingerie?

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Goop's lifestyle expert Suzannah Galland opens her article, 'When you're attracted to someone, and they are mind-blown by your body in lingerie, it's an epic feeling.'

Now, Suzannah might be talking about a female partner in this situation, but if she's talking about men, we don't know where she's getting it from.

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Purely from anecdotal evidence, men wouldn't notice if you had a full face of clown make-up on if you are in any way nude.

Let alone whether you have a lace-trimmed, triangle or underwired bra on.

It seems we ladies only really buy underwear for ourselves, to give us that confidence boost, or feel a bit more sensual.

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So when we have spent all that money on glorified boob scaffolding, wouldn't it be a real shame to burn it...over a man?

Suzannah usefully then gives the reader a 'ritual' to follow to 'own your story'.


THE RITUAL

1. Find a safe place where you can light a fire. (Why not invite a few close friends to join you, too?)2. Before you start, you might want to write out a few words, or recite a prayer to help release and forgive.3. Throw your needs-to-go lingerie into the fire one piece at a time.4. Watch intently as the pieces burn. Know that your past is recycling into the ethers, liberating your future.

Rrrrriiiggghhhtt.

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Whatever you say boss.

P.S. You can flog a second-hand Agent Provocateur bra for a tidy bob on Ebay if you don't feel like inhaling melting bra-clasp fumes with your mates.

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