Remember when that truly creepy guy wrote a Craiglist ad for someone to come to Coachella with him?
Well this story is kind of like that, in that something that may appear like a film meet-cute, turns incredibly creepy.
And it turns creepy really, really fast.
Meet Hayley Minn, the 25-year-old about whom this story is focused.
A few months ago, she was out in London, when she lost her wallet in London Liverpool St, as many have done before her.
We imagine Hayley did what most of us do after losing our belongings to the night; panic, cry, enter into a pit of self-loathing, berate ourselves for having no respect for material goods, and then come to terms with the fact that the human brain just forgets sometimes and it doesn't mean we are terrible people.
Six weeks passed, and Hayley thought nothing of it when, lo and behold, the wallet returned to her, intact, but with a note.
The Mirror reported the note read - prepare yourself:
Dear Miss Hayley, How are you? Hoping you will be fine and well. I would like to inform you that I found your precious purse (looks like it) by Liverpool street (sic) station. Might you dropped it and looking for it. My whole intentions to go inside your purse was to look for your address or anything which can help me to send this thing to you nothing else but I found some naughty stuff as well - don't need to feel any embracement (sic) honestly I like those people who take extra care lol. Kindly check all your belongings and if possible do let me know via email once you received it on funny.stud@hotmail.com. By chance if you could not find anything which you are actually looking for than [sic] trust me I did not take anything at all I am sending you as I found it. Just a piece of advice kindly look after yourself and all your belongings when you go out or allow someone else because you are one of the beautiful person I ever seen (I am sure in real you are more beautiful as compare to your picture) I wish if I can take you out sometime and spend time but I am sure you will definitely have someone in your life who is taking care of you very well otherwise allow me lol :) Have a good weekend. Please do not hesitate to contact me should you require anything or if you think I would be able to do anything for you. Enjoy every single moment of your life and enjoy as much as you can because you never know what is going to happen next :) Your Secret Friend or Admirer lol Email Friend (if you don't mind).
There are so many things about this note that make it weird.
Firstly, the dude obviously can't speak full English, which isn't a problem in itself, but, somehow, what could be all Colin Firth going to Portugal in Love Actually comes across more Bond villain.
Secondly, RE: the 'naughty stuff', it's a condom, if you're an adult man, just call it a condom and if anything, it is the antithesis of naughty.
Thirdly, change your effing email mate. Yes, we all got excited by our first email when we were 13-years-old, but grow up bro! Literally no-one is going to do 'naughty stuff' with you if your email is funny.stud@hotmail.com.
(Also, don't lie, funny? Stud? Really?)
Fourthly, no ... just no.
According to the Mirror, Minn and her creepy admirer have had no further contact, which is probably a good idea unless she wants to be told to 'put the lotion in the basket'.
Daisy Murray is the Digital Fashion Editor at ELLE UK, spotlighting emerging designers, sustainable shopping, and celebrity style. Since joining in 2016 as an editorial intern, Daisy has run the gamut of fashion journalism - interviewing Molly Goddard backstage at London Fashion Week, investigating the power of androgynous dressing and celebrating the joys of vintage shopping.
