If a bottle of wine doesn't have a yellow label, the word 'bargain' or 'deal' written underneath it or isn't located at the end of an aisle and signposted with the phrase 'this week's best offer', I'm not buying it.
Look, I'm not a cheapskate but neither am I a) Beyoncé level rich b) a wine connoisseur c) going to spend more than a fiver on a bottle of Pinot Grigio that undoubtedly smells of feet anyway and is sure to get me suitably tipsy enough to sing every word to R Kelly's 'Remix To Ignition' on a night out.
Unsurprisingly, former Waitrose executive Mark Price has found a flaw in my failure to splurge on vino and suggested the perfect amount of money we should be spending on a bottle of wine in our local supermarkets.
In an interview with the Daily Mail, the ironically named expert explains knowing how much to spend on a bottle of wine is all about finding the 'sweet spot', where quality and price best meet.
He says: 'A lot of the things you get in a bottle of wine are fixed prices. The tax you pay in the UK is the same on every bottle, no matter how expensive.'
So, basically, if you're going to flash your ID for some Chardonnay or Merlot anytime soon, you're best off doing it for a decent bottle when you'll be paying the same amount of tax, be it for cheapest or expensive bottle anyway.
'The cost of the glass is roughly the same and the transport is probably the same. So if you buy a bottle of wine for £5, the value of the wine inside that bottle is just under 50p. It's actually 47p,' he adds.
This might explain my hangover last Friday.
However, according to Price, the ideal amount of money to spend on a bottle of wine – be it for a friend's 'new home' party or a night in with a takeaway – is exactly £10.
'Ten pound? I can spend that on two quadvods, a shot of tequila and a small portion of cheesy chips on a night out,' I hear you cry.
However, if you want to be smart about buying alcohol and saving money – which I'm sure you do – according to Price, the quality of a £10 bottle is just under £3.
So, for twice as much as you'd usually spend, you're effectively getting wine that is six times the quality.
'If you buy a bottle for about £10 you've absolutely hit the sweet spot of quality against cost,' he explains.
Oh, and you can forget about ever needing to splash the cash on a bottle for nearer the £20 mark as, according to the former grocer, the taste might be better but you're effectively doubling up on the £10 stuff.
We'll see you in the vino aisles.