If, for some some reason, you missed the Harry Potter bandwagon 20 years ago and are yet to read J.K Rowling's magical tale of witchcraft, wizards and Hogwarts, may we advise you to buy the books from a reputable bookshop or online shop so that you don't make the same mistake that this guy just made.
Yesterday, Twitter user Shelley Zhang posted several photos of a pretty tough conversation she had with her friend, Chris Chappell, who appears to have had a bit of a dilemma while attempting – we emphasise the word 'attempting' here – to read the Harry Potter series.
Unfortunately for the budding Potter reader, it seems he accidentally came across a fan fiction version of The Order of the Phoenix — the fifth book in the series — instead of the real version by Rowling.
Zhang brought her friend's mishap to light on social media when she realised Chris was quite confused as to what had happened to Potter's cousin, Dudley, with her friend believing he jumped off Hogwart's roof due to an imperious curse put upon him by 'the rat guy'.
Unfortunately, things got worse for Chris when he also realised Harry and Hermoine don't in fact get 'intimate', despite the fact he'd heard the books get 'more mature and dark' as they go on.
And no, Chris, there wasn't a 'fake rape scene' between Draco and Ginny.
Zhang was then forced to tell her friend that Draco also doesn't almost jump in front of a subway 'after his mother disowns him', and encourages her friend to send her the books.
Despite the heartbreaking realisation that her friend had wasted so much time reading fan fiction of the famous series, Zhang couldn't help but share more snippets from her hilarious conversation with the reader.
Oh, and for anyone else hoping to read Harry Potter series, Zhang points out that 'lots of sex' in the Potter series is probably an indication it's 'fanfic'.
And if you don't know, the Order of the Phoenix doesn't start by 'Hermoine sending Harry a picture of herself in a bikini' or with Ron later ruining a relationship with a girl from his class when he accidentally calls out Hermoine's name during sex.
And nope, there's no necrophilia in it either.
It was all laughs and jokes until the point when Chris finally realised this somewhat graphic sex scene wasn't real.
Yet again, Zhang was forced to point out that Snape and Lily Potter didn't have sex and use herbs from a herbology class as birth control, and neither did Neville become a potion addict (although, we wish that was true).
Despite blowing the bubble on Chris' misunderstanding of the text, Zhang is quick to warn her followers not to spoil what happens with Snape to her friend just yet.
However, she felt compelled to break the news to him that Harry doesn't turn into a lion.
And no, Aunt Petunia didn't hate Lily because she failed to help their mother who was dying of cancer.
Unfortunately, it appears Chris still can't get over the whole Draco and Ginny thing.
But, at least Chris knows what happened at the end of the Goblet of Fire, right?
Poor poor, guy.
Katie O'Malley is the Site Director on ELLE UK. On a daily basis you’ll find Katie managing all digital workflow, editing site, video and newsletter content, liaising with commercial and sales teams on new partnerships and deals (eg Nike, Tiffany & Co., Cartier etc), implementing new digital strategies and compiling in-depth data traffic, SEO and ecomm reports. In addition to appearing on the radio and on TV, as well as interviewing everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Rishi Sunak PM, Katie enjoys writing about lifestyle, culture, wellness, fitness, fashion, and more.
