Being a mum is a tough job.
Understatement of the year, right?
But it feels as though this statement has never been more true than it is in 2017, with the aid of the internet and mum forums and everyone and their gran suddenly having a place to voice their opinion publicly.
Your children can't just survive, or be good at school, or be polite.
They must have been breast-fed for the exact right amount of time (too little or too long and you are an irresponsible parent, obviously), speak mandarin and eat an entirely pulse and plant-based diet.
Thankfully, some mothers are throwing away the rule book and figuring out for themselves what they want to prioritise for their children.
And one of those people is 29-year-old Blake Lively.
The actress and mother of two girls, James, who is two, and Inez, who will turn one in September, has spoken out again about motherhood.
After heavily dieting for her role in Shallows - filming happened only eight months after the birth of her first child - she spoke about the outrageous pressure put on female celebrities to have post-baby figures that mimic the one they had before the child.
She told an Australian talk-show:
'I think a woman's body after having a baby is pretty amazing. You don't have to have be Victoria's Secret-ready right away. You've just done this incredible miracle that life has to offer. You gave birth to a human being. I would really like to see that celebrated.'
The Gossip Girl actress has said many times how her feminism has been informed by her daughters, explaining she went to the Women's March partly for her girls.
Her feminism is also informing her mothering techniques and she has said that she is already making a concerted effort to explain to her children about unrealistic beauty standards.
Since Blake herself is a L'Oreal spokesperson she constantly has to have spruced up flouncy hair and a face full of make-up for press tours and photoshoots, she told Refinery29 earlier this year that:
'For me, it's important for my daughters to know that it's not real life. They're seeing me dressed up in all this hair and makeup, but they also see me without that. I want them to see both sides, because there is never just one side.'
Now, in an interview with Glamour, she explained another rule she has to make sure her girls grow up strong.
Lively and her husband, 40 year-old Ryan Reynolds, have taken to policing their gendered language.
When they refer to something that they don't know the sex of they try and say 'her' instead of 'his':
'So he'll pick up, like a caterpillar, and instead of saying, "What's his name?" he'll say, "What's her name?"'
She told the magazine that there were certain words she would not use to describe them, including 'bossy':
'...we've joked that my daughter is bossy. But my husband said, "I don't ever want to use that word again. You've never heard a man called bossy."'
She continued:
There would never be any negative connotation for a man being a boss, so to add a negative connotation on a woman being bossy? It's belittling. And it doesn't encourage them to be a boss. So do I know how to be the best parent for a daughter? No, I have no idea. All I can do is share what I'm thinking—and learn from others.
We think Blake is doing pretty well, putting her daughters emotional wellbeing first and kicking some feminist-ass whilst she's doing it.
Daisy Murray is the Digital Fashion Editor at ELLE UK, spotlighting emerging designers, sustainable shopping, and celebrity style. Since joining in 2016 as an editorial intern, Daisy has run the gamut of fashion journalism - interviewing Molly Goddard backstage at London Fashion Week, investigating the power of androgynous dressing and celebrating the joys of vintage shopping.
