Woman Complains About £1,300 Engagement Ring, Provokes Ferocious Debate About Engagement Etiquette

A woman has taken to an online forum to question whether it's uncouth to tell a partner when you don't like the engagement ring they chose.

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The design and size of an engagement ring has been a contentious issue for decades.

Some feel that, as modern women, we should have the ability to choose our ring with a partner or at least admit - in a tactful way - when we don't like one picked by a fiancé. After all, they're going to be on our hands for life, right?

For others, it's a man's job to choose, given an the appropriate amount of spend relative to his salary, and it is a woman's duty to accept and love what he's chosen.

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This is the dilemma a woman recently experienced before taking to an online forum to ask other users whether it was wrong to complain about her new engagement ring.

The anonymous Mumsnet user asked the online community whether it would be wrong to ask her fiancé to change the ring as she didn't like the one he'd proposed with.

She explains: 'DP proposed and presented me with the ring he'd chosen – a diamond solitaire in white gold. I was so happy and excited to accept but was disappointed when I first saw the ring. The first word that entered my head was 'small'.

'There's nothing to dislike about the type of ring per se, as a diamond solitaire would have been my choice, but it's the whole thing - the colour of the gold, the setting, the small stone and relatively chunky shoulders' she added.

The first word that entered my head was 'small'

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The soon-to-be-bride revealed her partner has a six figure salary and had paid £1,300 for her ring, adding that the price was 'a lot less' than she imagined he would have spent on such an important piece of jewellery.

She said her fiancé was told by colleague: 'If she makes it all about the ring, then she's not the girl for you.' Which some have interpreted as some sort of test.

The user also admitted she would have liked to have chosen a ring together and made a special day of finding one they both liked.

'As it's something I'll be wearing every day and is such a special piece of jewellery I wanted to really love it and I just don't,' she explained.

She concluded her post (which has since been deleted): 'Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?'

Unfortunately, her question has invited a lot of backlash, with several people calling her out for being 'ungrateful' and 'grabby'.

I wanted to really love it and I just don't

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'I mean someone wants to commit the rest of your lives together and you want to make a fuss over a ring?' commented one user.

Another took to the forum to ask: 'Why is it about the size of the diamond? He's making a commitment to you. It doesn't have to be about money or "flashiness".'

Meanwhile, others have taken to the woman's defence, stating her question is completely valid, and that she shouldn't have to wear a piece of jewellery for the rest of her life solely because her fiancé chose it.

'I would prepare to be flamed and called grabby,' one commenter wrote. 'But if this is the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with, you should be able to have a conversation about this.'

Another wrote: 'If it can be returned and you can pick something you like better, together, then do that, but I would probably try and stick to his budget or put the extra to it yourself if you choose something more expensive.'

Another added that her happiness with the ring is more important than pretending to like a ring for her fiancé.

'You are the person who will be wearing the ring and having to look at it all day every day. The cost is not as much of a factor but you must be happy with the look of the ring. Just tell him you are not keen on the setting and you would prefer to choose another ring together,' they explained.

If this is the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with you should be able to have a conversation about this

Sadly, we have very little context to go on here regarding the woman's relationship. Of course, there may be deeper, underlying issues behind her unhappiness that might relate to his salary, attitude towards the engagement and their partnership in general and we can't pretend to know what they are.

It's important to remember that rarely is a woman's emotional attachment to an engagement ring to do with the ring itself, but rather the meaning, thought and sentiment behind the jewellery.

When it comes down to it, if a man and woman are in a loving relationship, they should be able to freely talk about their feelings.

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