More young people are saying they're bisexual than gay

Some people like labels, others don't


My last serious relationship was with a man.

The last time I had my heart-broken it was a woman who did the damage.

I suppose you could call me bisexual though it's a label that, honestly, I feel uncomfortable wearing.

Which is why news from the ONS last week that more young people identify as bisexual than gay leaves me with mixed feelings (as ever).

According to their latest date, the number of people who identify as bisexual has jumped by 45% in just three years, from 230,000 in 2012 to 334,000.


While it's wonderful news that young people are able to admit that their sexual orientation fluctuates, the boxes they were offered to tick only covered lesbian, gay and bi.

The people who identify outside of those choices are essentially invisible.

In the age of sexual fluidity, when celebrities such as Kristen Stewart can introduce the world to her girlfriend without labelling herself as anything but madly in love, the bisexual label feels restrictive.


Perhaps I feel that way as a result of all the not-so-nice things people say about bisexuals.

Greedy. Confused. Lying. Attention-seeking. Gay but too scared to admit it.

Straight men think it's acceptable to suggest threesomes. Lesbians fear we might use them as part of an 'experimental phase' or eventually leave them for the traditional heterosexual family set-up.

Not being able to call myself a bonafide lesbian has sometimes left me feeling like a fraud; like I don't belong in gay bars lest they discover my dirty little secret.

Still, these latest statistics are cause for some celebration.

They suggest that young people (the biggest rise in those identifying as bisexual rather than gay is among 16-24 year-olds) feel more comfortable loving and being attracted to a person over a gender.

Not being able to call myself a bonafide lesbian has sometimes left me feeling like a fraud


I quite envy young people growing up in a culture where sexual fluidity is increasingly celebrated.

I wish I'd had Miley Cyrus, Cara Delevigne and Amber Heard to help me understand that I don't have to live in a box.

It wasn't the same 15-years-ago when I was at school. There was a general feeling that being attracted to people of your own sex was weird.

So when I liked a girl I just ignored it.

Thankfully our society is becoming more open-minded thanks to years of campaigning by the LGBT community.

Bisexual, pansexual, fluid, gay, straight… Some people like labels, some people don't

Their courage means I can write this article without feeling shame, while for many years I consciously avoided homophobia by not publicly identifying myself as anything other than straight.

The terrorist attack on Pulse nightclub last year made me realise how important it is to find the strength to be yourself.

Honestly, I still feel pressure to pick a side.

Some people make it clear that my sexuality is inconvenient or confusing for them. Fuck those people.

An individual's sexuality is ever-evolving. Take Eat, Pray, Love author Elizabeth Gilbert, who recently left her husband to be with her female best friend - no one saw that one coming, least of all her.

Right now I'm mainly interested in dating women. This doesn't make me gay.

Should I end up marrying a woman and spending the rest of my life with her… still not gay.

I've had wonderful (and not so wonderful) relationships with men. I've enjoyed having sex with men. I've deeply loved men. No label can erase my past and nor would I want to.

Bisexual, pansexual, fluid, gay, straight… Some people like labels, some people don't.

Some people like breasts. Some people don't (confusing).

Thankfully we're creating a society where we have the freedom to decide for ourselves.

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