Fifty shades of cringe

Three times Jamie and Dakota have looked totally awkward together

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UPDATE: Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Jamie Dornan has revealed in an interview with Notebook magazine, that he would apologise to Dakota Johnson before some of the more uncomfortable and brutal sex scenes, during the filming of Fifty Shades of Grey.

'I got through [sex scenes] in Fifty with a lot of apologies.' He further explains, 'You have to keep the intensity there, but maintain professionalism.' Dornan showcased the perfect acting etiquette, saying, 'If I was about to be doing something particularly heinous to Dakota, I would apologise in advance and say, ‘I’m probably not going to derive a huge amount of pleasure out of this. I want you to know that’.'

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What. A. Gent.

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Original Story:

When describing your more romantic moments, what are the adjectives you’d hope would spring to mind? Thrilling? Explosive? Disturbing, maybe (hey, we’re not here to judge)? But here’s some words you probably wouldn’t want mentioned: ‘technical’, ‘choreographed’ and – most crushingly – ‘more of a task’.

That’s how Dakota Johnson famously described filming her love scenes with Jamie Dornan for the soon-to-be-released Fifty Shades of Grey. And we can see her point. Having to get hot and heavy with Jamie Dornan every day? WORK. We’d rather be filling out our tax returns, quite frankly.

But though it may be their day job, the problem for Dakota and Jamie is that they are starring in the movie of FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. The book that sent a million women to Ann Summers for the first time. The whole point of the bloomin’ thing is the chemistry between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Take that away, and you’re just left with a load of waffle about Anastasia’s inner goddess, and that is NOT what we’re paying our cinema ticket price for.

So we’d hope that the stars would at least attempt to look a little less awkward together. Just look at their most recent outings: 

Here they are at the Golden Globes, hands firmly behind their backs in the same manner as Prince Charles on a royal visit to a cheese factory.

 

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And here in a promo shot, looking as if they’re on a school field trip and have been buddied up with that weird kid that smells.

And, of course, the classic interview in which Dakota described bumping uglies with Jamie Dornan as a ‘task’ (we sympathise) and, when asked if they had chemistry, Jamie replied: ‘Well I presumed we did, because they put us together’. Scorching.

So what are we to think of all this? Is it that, having filmed some of the more unsavoury scenes from the book, there are some things poor Dakota and Jamie just can’t unsee, and now they're left doing that awkward morning-after squirmy thing forevermore? Maybe. But our theory is that, actually, it’s a marketing masterstroke. The more you act as if you have the natural chemistry of, er, two chemistry teachers before the movie release, the more WHAM the love scenes will be on screen. Genius.

Either way, let's face it: this is a film that features Jamie Dornan in a state of undress. We're still going to see it.

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