Fifty Shades Of Grey How-To

Be a dominatrix in the bedroom

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Interest in BDSM (a variety of erotic practices involving dominance, submission, roleplay and restraint) has spiked surrounding the release of the much-anticipated film adaptation of EL James’ staggeringly successful book, Fifty Shades Of Grey.
 
If you want to try BDSM at home – and the London Fire Brigade anticipate that the general public definitely do (it is predicting a surge in 999 calls this weekend relating to people being trapped in handcuffs and the like) – ELLE suggests you channel Mr Grey. Because, why wouldn’t you want to be the one in charge of the tickle stick and wooden paddle?
 
Geneviève LeJeune, founder of Skirt Club (a private members party for bi-curious women) explains the particular appeal of BDSM, whatever role you choose to take:
 
For the power trip. There is no feeling like that of having complete (consensual) control over another person. Tease, tantalise and tempt your partner into absolute submission and let the thrill of power wash over you.
 
Because they want it. By taking charge, you are giving your partner permission to relinquish responsibility – an opportunity he or she might not often get but might be secretly desiring. When you dominate, your partner doesn't have to think. Just obey.
 
Bondage and rope. The first time I ever tied up a woman, it triggered a sensation of intense relief and pleasure. I enjoy choosing the position I might put her in, but mostly having control over what happens next.
 
To turn your brain on. I love to see a restricted partner at my mercy (all within the boundaries of respect and mutual trust, of course). I sense how overwhelming it might feel, to be entirely in someone’s hands. The facial expressions they portray become the sexiest part of their body. This is an endless psychological game where the erotic zone is the brain.
 
Believe it or not, it’s relaxing. Ever heard of the ‘subspace’? It’s been described as a dreamy high by those playing the part of the submissive, thanks to an increase in endorphins making us feel euphoric. A feeling that comes with safe practice and a lot of preparation.
 
To read about one ELLE writer's experience of The Skirt Club, buy the March issue of ELLE, out now.

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