32 Thoughts Had While Watching The New True Detective

Ok, so we weren't entirely sure what was going on


True Detective series two has began. Here's a run down of what wnet through our heads during episode one...

1. Oh, I hope it’s good.

2. I hope they haven’t messed it up.

3. Strong language and violent scenes advisory message. Oh good.

4. There’s a new intro song and titles and it’s very cool.  The series is going to be very city orientated if you take it from intro titles.


5. Scene one: Colin Farrell really has lost his Ballykissangel Irish accent – instead there’s a gruff American one.

6. This season the police interviewer is a woman.

7. Detective Ray Velcoro aka Colin Farell is a dad.

8. And his son was born 9 months after his wife was violently attacked and raped.

9. Some might question the paternity? Especially considering the son looks nothing like him and is a red head. Not Detective Oklahoma. He says ‘my son is my son’.


10. There’s a flash forwards to Detective Oklahoma first scene with Vince Vaughn aka Frank Semyon.

11. Frank Semyon plays some form of criminal.

12. Vince Vaughn’s character has impeccable interior taste. Retro 70s LA style. Glass windows, wood paneling, double sinks.

13. He lives there with his girlfriend/wife/lover Jordan Semyon aka British actress Kelly Reilly

14. Frank Semyon  runs a casino.

15. In walks Rachel McAdams. She’s clearly a badass.

16.  And also a cop called Ani Bezzerides.

17. Now she’s raiding a house filled with sex workers. A casual badass Tuesday.

18. It turns out one of the sex workers is her sister. 

19. There are a lot more panning scenes from a helicopter – you tell this series had more budget than the last. If only we knew what was going on?

20. A gorgeous girl gets pulled over in her red convertible. And then accuses a cop played by Taylor Kitsch of accepting sexual favours for letting her off. He’s clearly not happy.

21. A guy is missing. And Farell, I mean Detective Ray Velcoro, is on the case. He searches his house.

22. Rachel McAdams approaches her dad to help her sister. He has a very Jesus look. It turns out her mum abandoned them both.

23. We learn she’s had a failed marriage and is angry all the time.

24. Detective Ray Velcoro character shows himself to be a bit crazy. He goes slightly insane when he discovers his kid had his trainers stolen. He goes after the kid’s dad. And shows his violent ways.

25. Rachel McAdams is more badass with weapons and big boots.

26. It’s the second ad break. Still no idea what’s going on. Just a relief for no eeriness during Honda advert

27. And we’re back. And the cop who got suspended is also pretty messed up, we’re spying a running a theme.

28. He’s angry and heads out on bike – then meets a dead guy. With acid burnt out eyes

29. Finally a link– Farrell, Kitsch, and McAdams all end up at same crime scene. A bunch of lost broken soles. Linked together.

30. Ohhhh. It’s vaguely starting to look like it might make sense.

31. And it’s over. The last shot is very beautiful. And we’re out.

32. Obviously we’re intrigued. And so it begins…

Read Next: