The new social media rules (from Leandra, Lena, Amber and more)

Ironic humblebrags get a yes. Avocados, no

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Back in the day, social media etiquette was straightforward and easy: follow back, like and re-post when appropriate. But that was then. We're on social media 6.0 now — as our operating systems change, so do we. And as our social networks multiply (imagine a time without Snapchat!), so do the rules. Here are the most notable of the new.

The humblebrag

Where da sea lions at?

A photo posted by Man Repeller (@manrepeller) on

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Everyone knows social media is for showing off the fantasy life you wish you had. It’s more fun to show off your pretty avocado toast on the table than your ugly pile of mail on the kitchen counter just a few feet away. But the new rule is to own the fakery with a knowing wink and an eye. This usually happens through a clever or silly caption making light of the situation. Leandra Medine does it best. (But in her case, the fantasy is real!) Here’s a classic example:

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Fancy, make-you-jealous photo + silly, make-fun-of-yourself caption. See what she did there? 

And for those days when you don’t have a clever caption in you, make like Chrissy Tiegen and do this:

Owning your humble brag works every time.

The secret project

HELLO NYC 🇺🇸 #weekend #secretproject #cantwait #USA #americanBOY

A photo posted by OLIVIER R. (@olivier_rousteing) on

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You know exactly what and who I’m talking about. Their captions normally go something like this: ‘VERY excited to be working on a top secret project. More to come soon!’ This might carry on for weeks, months, Lord knows. And this behaviour usually begs the question of whether or not your friend has taken a job with the SIS you’re unaware of. 99% of the time the answer to that question is no. So the general consensus here is the secret project build-up on social media is a big old NO. Just tell us when it’s out in the world, and able to be talked about freely okay? The one exception to the rule: Olivier Rousteing. Because his projects are that exciting and cool. So in his case, we wait with baited breath.

The Kardashian

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Called such because it’s a move Kim has made famous. And that move involves posting photos of a joint selfie in which the person doing the posting looks a thousand times better than her friend. She’ll look flawless and aglow, while her bestie looks like the poor soul Valencia forgot. You never want to be this person:

The book rule

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Books are the new avocadoes. We’ve just decided this. Let’s make this a real thing. Because the road to getting unfollowed is paved with green. So next time you're tempted to post your morning avocado toast, don't. Instead, do like Lena.

The high (low) road

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If you’re on social media, are a human, and have opinions about things, chances are you have or will be Trolled. Don’t fret. And for the love of Caitlyn Jenner, don’t disable your account. Instead do the modern thing, which is to Repost the most heinous comment, outing your hater and placing that evil exactly where it belongs in the light of day. Learn from Amber.

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