My Life in Nightclubs

Eat, Sleep, VK Orange, Repeat

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It has been reported (via the Association of Licensed Multiple Retailers) that the number of nightclubs in the UK has fallen from 3,144 in 2005 to 1,733 – that is half of your favourite Saturday night hot spots gone. This is sad news for a serial nightclubber like me, and most likely, like you. With the rise of festivals, pop up bars and DJ nights it seems the fall of the mighty nightclub could happen (sobs). And what a loss that would be: where else can you truly believe you're Beyoncé if not up in the da club (to quote Joe Budden). Remember your first VK? Mine went a little like this…

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Very first clubbing experience

When: 17 (sorry dad) 

Where: Vice Versa, Loughborough 

Outfit: Linen trousers, sequin top, hideous haircut and too much blusher. 

Drink: VK Orange / Smirnoff Ice 

Squad: The entire 6th form 

Defining moment: Kissing a boy from Loughborough University and then my best mate kissing him later on that night. NB If you managed to snog a boy in a pink tie they were from the Uni rugby team and you were Queen of the Common Room for the next week. 

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Fresher's Week Clubbing

When: 18

Where: Mission, Leeds 

Outfit: Anything fluorescent and the manditory tutu 

Drink: Malibu and coke 

Squad: Everyone you befriended in the first 20 minutes of University

Defining moment: Being introduced to 'Mission Buckets' - £5 for 2 pints of Vodka RedBull and more importantly 3am burgers. 

 

2nd Year Clubbing (and most of 3rd Year)

When: 19

Where: Fruity, Leeds University Student Union

Outfit: Anything with my trusty pair of cowboy boots 

Drink: Vodka, lime and lemonade (I wasn't sophisticated enough for soda) 

Squad: My house of 8 mega babes 

Defining moment: Stacking it down the famous Fruity stairs in front of a 500 strong crowd. 

 

 

4th Year Clubbing

When: 21

Where: Call Lane, Leeds

Outfit: Finally made it to a dress 

Drink: Tequila, Tequila, Tequila  

Squad: What we referred to as the Mayville B*tches (unoriginally the road my housemates and I lived on) 

Defining moment: The 5 of us busting out the Pussycat Dolls routine to 'Buttons', and reaping the Tequila rewards. 

 

 

London Clubbing

When: 23

Where: Embargoes, Chelsea

Outfit: Leather trousers, white shirt 

Drink: Veuve Clicquot 

Squad: University reunion

Defining moment: The next morning when we found the receipts from the night before and mourned both our outrageous behaviour and our bank accounts. 

 

 

'I'm getting old' Clubbing

When: 25th Birthday

Where: Terrace, Leicester 

Outfit: Tube skirt, top, heels (swiftly exchanged for ankle boots when I reminded myself who I was) 

Drink: Prosecco

Squad: My best friends 

Defining moment: Looking at all the 18 year olds with their fresh faces and beliefs that they were the coolest kids in there, and reminding them that I am still Queen Bey.