The grammatically correct approach to dating

Do you know your colons from your semis?

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Hands up who has tinder/happen/pof/match any other kind of dating app? Hands up who agonised over their pictures and profile to make it perfect? Hands up who has been immediately turned off by poor grammar and spelling with a potential 'match'? You are not alone. 

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Courtesy of: Tinder Nightmares Instagram

We have all been there (or at least I have) – spent hours curating the perfect dating profile (albeit on Tinder), the profile that in five pictures and exactly no words says: 'I'm really fun but not a train-wreck-mess kind of fun (exemplified with a pic of your girl squad tearing up the dance floor and swigging on a bottle of over priced vodka.) I'm funny but not a clown, I'm sporty but we won't just talk about the gym, I can cook so your mum will like me and I have boy mates, so we can go to the rugby and I will know what you're talking about.' The effort is real, people. 

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Finally, you match with a total babe - success! You pretend that he was really into your profile - he lolled at your funny pic, he thought you were interesting, but deep down (thanks to the confirmation from the boy mates), you know he just swiped right to everyone and will then edit his matches down. Damn. But then he messages you – woo, you made the cut! And then you read the message…

'Hey, your pretty.' 

Game over. 

All we ask is that you use correct grammar, punctuation and spelling. That's it. And I am not the only one: The Times reports that research into the savage New York dating scene has highlighted that poor spelling and grammar is one of the biggest turn offs for prospective partners. So much so an algorithm has now been added to dating sites and if you appear to be using 'F' grade worthy spelling and grammar, you get kicked off. Hallelujah. 

These guys clearly did not get the memo: 

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Courtesy of: Tinder Nightmares Instagram

 

Courtesy of: Tinder Nightmares Instagram

Courtesy of: Tinder Nightmares Instagram

It's an easy format: head back to Key Stage Three grammar for a recap, write full sentences, don't ask me to come round for 'Netflix and chill' and you're on to a winner. 

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