James Taylor. Randy Newman. Camila Cabello. Justice. Sesame Street.
Some of the greatest musical artists of our time have attempted to sum up the true meaning of friendship in just three-minutes of poetic lyricism. But, in a post-Sex and the City, Girls and Mean Girls era, the idea of what it means to be a true friend – you know, the one that will squeeze a blackhead from your nose and pick you up a bag of McDonalds mozzarella dippers on their way home – has evolved.
Gone are the days when a sign of friendship involved blocking up your family’s dial-up internet for two hours or featuring each other in your MySpace top eight.
Nowadays, a good mate knows exactly who to swipe right for on your Tinder, automatically ‘likes’ an Instagram photo in support of your ‘brand’, and will gently break it to you that sadly no, you're never going to be able to pull off a Jenna Dewan-inspired fringe.
As a result, we rounded up a list of qualities that make us good friends in 2018 because let’s face it, some of us are just bloody brilliant:
1. You don’t get annoyed when your friend tells you she bought the same Topshop dress as you. In the sale. Half price. And looks better in it.
2. You’ll form a human receptacle with your hands to capture your drunk mate's vomit after a night out. Anything to avoid her spewing on her dress, hair and/or your cream carpet.
3. You let your mates borrow your big bedroom mirror while getting ready. Meanwhile, you make do with the compact travel one you found in a Christmas cracker circa 2012.
4. You’ll listen to them drone on about their ex, even though you’ve had the conversation about why he was a d*ck 27 times, but will still give the impression that you're just as invested in the conversation as you were the first time.
5. You give honest confidence-boosting criticism when it comes to shopping without letting her know you actually think she looks like a potato.
6. You hang up your housemate’s entire load of washing on the clothes horse when they're out late so they have dry clothes in the morning.
7. You know that one deepest darkest secret of hers you’ve both sworn never to talk about ever again, even to your significant other half #TillDeath.
8. You style their hair on a night out before doing your own because you're a f*cking modern-day Mother Theresa.
9. You’re not afraid to tell them when they’re being a d*ck, but obviously forgive them immediately because they’re your lobster.
10. You’ll patiently take 328 photos on your camera roll of them standing in front of a coloured wall/cherry blossom tree while giving your best Queer Eye ‘yaaaaaas’ impression.
11. You don’t judge their gross habits (licking their fingers after eating a burger, biting their nails, picking at their feet in the park) because they’ve probably seen you do worse.
12. You have a secret signal that signposts when you need help getting out of an awkward social encounter.
13. You'll sacrifice yourself so they can post a picture on Instagram you both know they think they look better in.
14. You’ll become a human shield to guard them while weeing in a field/back alley.
15. You’re the only person that’ll be brutally honest and inform them when they have lipstick smeared on their chin or spinach in their teeth.
16. You’ll sit through a three-hour long play they’ve written or stay up late practicing interview Q&As with them even though you’ve had a tiring day at work and need your duvet.
17. You’ll take their side in an argument no matter what, even though you might totally disagree with their point of view.
18. You know the difference between when it's time to call a friend out for being a sh*t on a night out, and when to lie through your teeth when they’re suffering from hangover anxiety and feeling guilty.
19. You’ll lend them your new clothes even though you really don’t want to.
20. You’ll forgive and accept their infuriating quirks and opinions because you know it’s not personal.
21. You don’t get pissed off when they cancel plans at the last minute because you know all too well the demands of trying to keep your head above water in your twenties/thirties. Maintaining an active social life is hard, people!
22. You’ll stand by your friend even when you know they shouldn’t be with their significant other, but will be ready with the tissues and wine when they inevitably break-up. You won’t stop seeing her/him because you don’t like their boyfriend/girlfriend.
23. You’ll give your opinion before they make a stupid decision and step back when they go ahead with it. Of course, you'll still be there for them when it ends badly (which it usually does).
24. You don’t mind them oversharing about their love/sex/family/work life because you know you’re the only person they feel comfortable doing that with.
25. You know exactly when you need to pull a friend out of a grump, leave them alone for a bit, push them to open up about their emotions, let them moan, and tell them when they need to snap out of their mood.
26. You’ll drop £20 on their large Meat Feast pizza and an Uber home when they get inexplicably drunk after two glasses of wine on a Tuesday, because we've all been that girl.
27. You’ll eat the vegan chocolate brownies you’re newly-turned vegan friend has made at a dinner party, despite the fact they taste like wet cotton wool balls and make you want to cry.
28. You don't point out a mate's embarrassing dancing on a night out, even though they look like an wacky waving inflatable arm-flaying tube man outside a car garage after a few too many G&Ts.
29. You let your mate bare-face lie in a social situation because you actually find their bullsh*tting rather amusing.
Katie O'Malley is the Site Director on ELLE UK. On a daily basis you’ll find Katie managing all digital workflow, editing site, video and newsletter content, liaising with commercial and sales teams on new partnerships and deals (eg Nike, Tiffany & Co., Cartier etc), implementing new digital strategies and compiling in-depth data traffic, SEO and ecomm reports. In addition to appearing on the radio and on TV, as well as interviewing everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Rishi Sunak PM, Katie enjoys writing about lifestyle, culture, wellness, fitness, fashion, and more.
