There have been some amazing films about relationships between two women: Carol, My Summer of Love, The Kids Are Alright, But I’m A Cheerleader; and some classics that we probably have on VHS in a box in the attic somewhere (High Art, Bound… seasons 1-6 of The L Word); as well, of course, as some dreadfully acted cringe-fests (you know the type.) The quality of the genre is as diverse as the women the films seek to represent, but there are a few lesbian clichés we can be sure will make an appearance, however great the film is…
1. A woman will have a bath. Either alone because they are feeling sad about something, or with another woman so they can have some sensual moments with soap suds
2. There will be painting and decorating. Paint splattered dungarees and vest tops will be worn
3. One of the female leads will have a dog
4. There will be tears. Lots of them
5. There will be close ups. Lots of them
6. Someone is bound to die
7. There will be at least one scene in which the couple snuggles up on a sofa. Normally with cat.
8. A man will be introduced so that one of the main characters can question their sexuality
9. An attractive older woman will seduce a sexy ingénue
10. It won’t be easy. The lesbian lovers are guaranteed to have an ‘ell of a time in some respect
11. It will probably have subtitles
