The 11 Year-Old Putting Justin Bieber In His Grammatically-Correct Place

Duh, it’s a subjunctive


In theory, I'm a stickler for grammar. Having studied Latin at university, where there are more tenses than Caesars, my tutors would be hugely disappointed if I couldn’t decipher my pluperfect indicative from my future perfect indicative (this is where the theory part comes in). And apparently, I'm not the only one.

An 11-year-old student from Cornwall has totally outed Justin Bieber for his lack of grammatical sensitivity in his song ‘Boyfriend’, in probably the best and most well-written open letter we've seen all year.


'In the song you can be heard – on a number of occasions – stating, "If I was your boyfriend": here you have clearly used the subjunctive mood incorrectly. The correct lyrics, should in fact be, "If I were your boyfriend". This is a very common mistake made by the general public today; however, if role models (and popular singer/song-writers) such as you cannot use it, why should we make the effort to study and use such grammatical forms correctly?'


Burn, Bieber.



In case Bieber needed a point of reference as to the correct usage of the subjunctive tense, the student kindly points JB in the direction of Beyoncé whose exemplary display of grammar can be seen in ‘If I Were A Boy’. Gold star, Bey.

While, of course, there is the argument of poetic licence and rhyming couplets, let it be known if a Key Stage 2 pupil can get it right so can you, Biebs. 

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