The highly anticipated sixth series of Game Of Thrones airs tonight on Sky Atlantic and it feels like the whole world is in a frenzy of excitement.
The colossal HBO uber, super duper, mega smash hit series (it's successful, alright?) depicts a complex, sprawling fictional universe in which summers span decades, winters can last a lifetime and every man, woman and their dog is in ruthless pursuit of The Iron Throne.
But what if you've been busy and you quickly need to get up to speed on GOT before tonight?
You need ELLE's (seriously) Abridged Game of Thrones Cheat Sheet For Big Blaggers.
Origins
Game of Thrones is based on George R.R. Martin's best-selling series of fantasy novels, 'A Song of Ice and Fire'.
Geography
The show is set in a series fictional kingdoms. It's pretty complicated and we don't want to bog you down with too much geography. There is an important wall to know about though. It's called The Wall and it separates The North from everything else and protects the war-ravaged kingdom from the dark forces that lie beyond (including the undead White Walkers who will scare the bejesus out of you).
The dynasties
Each kingdom is home to a load of noble houses at each other's throats for power.
The biggies are:
House Baratheon
House Lannister
House Stark
House Targaryen
Each family features a scintillating cast of characters spanning the whole moral spectrum. There are a lot of them and time is money people so let's just say that they are all hot/evil/ambitious/brave/despicable/funny/clever/ruthless.
Daenerys
Daenerys Targaryan is one of your favourite characters. She's the badass Mother Of Dragons and she works platinum blonde hair like nobody else. She slays, ok?
Sex
There's a lot of sex. And some incest. And nudity a-go-go.
Betrayal
TRUST NO ONE.
Death
Where to start. GOT's USP is killing off amazing, beloved characters like there is no tomorrow. We have 3 words for you: The Red Wedding. It's shocking and horrifying and so damn brilliant. But is Jon Snow dead?
The weather
It's bloody freezing in The North. They wear layers and some pretty great shearling but even Uniqlo's heat tech wouldn't beat this kind of cold.
Small print
GOT devotees, don't be cross. As you know, the beauty of your beloved show is its vast, rambling, sprawling ambition so we get it, we've missed out a lot. But it's a start.
Go forth and enjoy series 6!
Game of Thrones is on Sky Atlantic on Monday night at 9pm