How often do you leave an altercation fuming, head home and practise the entire tube/walk/drive/ cycle back exactly what you could have said to them?
Too shocked or hurt in the moment you might have sworn at them, cried, maybe you were so dumbstruck you just said nothing at all.
But back at home you have the perfect response; so sharp and scathing you maintain the moral superiority whilst quietly demolishing them.
Alas, the perfect phrase comes an hour too late. Next time, you tell yourself, next time...
Well, an unsuspecting Ashe Dryden was innocently enjoying her lunch before a flight, when she overheard a woman living all of our argument comeback fantasies (kind of).
First off, the bad news. The woman, lets call her Beyoncé, because she is absolute Queen, has found out that her boyfriend (you'll find out his name later...it won't disappoint) has been cheating on her, and has another long-term girlfriend.
Yes, it's terrible. Horrific even. How humiliating, and upsetting and demoralising. But you know what? Beyoncé is going to take it in her stride, she's Beyoncé for christ's sake.
And lucky for us eavesdropper extraordinaire Ashe live tweeted the whole thing.
Let the Tweets begin.
Ironically, in a twist of female empowerment, it was the other girlfriend (let's call her Beyoncé 2) who told Beyoncé.
Thankfully, Beyoncé has the cheater quaking in his boots.
And even more thankfully, Beyoncé isn't missing any of her meals over this fool.
After he stutters some thin excuses.
The waiter then almost throws the ex-boyfriend a much-needed way out.
But she isn't letting him go anywhere.
Calm as a cucumber, she starts drilling into this guy.
And then delivers one of the best lines in history, ever.
So practically minded, so fantastically mean.
In fact, Beyoncé starts straight-up cackling at the mess that is this man before her.
See how she controls the conversation.
So devilishly deft.
Thankfully, her hot beverage arrives so she can enjoy some frothy coffee whilst she roasts him (Get it? Roast...coffee...).
And despite this dude's wrongdoings, Beyoncé still has all her queenly confidence.
Finally, the weasel-man speaks.
And then...we learn his name.
Brad! Yes, obviously! And if you feel kind of bad for him (since he obviously cannot handle the full wrath of Beyoncé) then here's Beyoncé explaining how he has always been a class-A douche.
DON'T UNDERMINE BEYONCÉ BRAD.
And DON'T squander an opportunity to be with Beyoncé, Brad.
It's at this point Beyoncé really embodies her god-like aplomb.
Body shots! Even though you've worn her down Brad, and he's feeling a little lethargic, she is going to do some blimmin' body shots.
And in a further twist of fate, not only do they appear to work in the same place.
But Beyoncé is totally on side with Beyoncé 2 (otherwise known as Stacy).
Her and Beyoncé 2 are going to be just fine without Brad (obviously).
And if you're in any doubt Beyoncé is anything short of a boss bitch, she frickin' paid the bill.
And although this is clearly a situation between Brad, Stacy/Beyoncé 2 and Beyoncé, aren't we all really Beyoncé's? And don't we all have a Brad?
In which case, we all have the power of Beyoncé-like strength and outrageously witty comebacks within us.
You can check-out the full thread here for even more (yes, there's more) Beyoncé-Brad break-up.
Daisy Murray is the Digital Fashion Editor at ELLE UK, spotlighting emerging designers, sustainable shopping, and celebrity style. Since joining in 2016 as an editorial intern, Daisy has run the gamut of fashion journalism - interviewing Molly Goddard backstage at London Fashion Week, investigating the power of androgynous dressing and celebrating the joys of vintage shopping.
