As an Ibiza virgin, I was sceptical of how good the White Island would be. Could I still party for three days on the trot past the age of 21? (Unlikely). Would I spend the whole weekend regretting my decisions from the night before? (Likely). There was only one way to find out, so I went headfirst into hedonistic heaven:
Friday: The All Day Party - Ocean Beach Club Ibiza
Ibiza wouldn't be Ibiza without all-day boozer, and there is nowhere quite like Ocean Beach Club Ibiza to get your ultimate Ibiza on. The iconic Veuve Clicquot orange beds (excellent gram content), the mega line-up of acts and DJs and the surprise entertainment - who doesn't love a giant sequin flying elephant ? It's all to play for. For the ultimate pool party experience try the mango daiquiris, the tastiest thirst-quencher on the menu, but be warned, three or four deep and you are going to need that Japanese sharing platter before dancing the night away. This Ibiza beacon of fun is entirely unmissable.
Entry price for Ocean Beach Club Ibiza Pool Party: 25 Euros (this does not include a bed)
Ocean Beach Club Ibiza, Carrer des Molí, 12-14, 07820 Ibiza (+34 971 80 32 60)
Friday: The Sleep Over - THB Naeco Hotel Ibiza
The recently refurbished and super chic, THB Naeco Hotel Ibiza ticks all the boxes for your Ibizan sleep over. A white washed pool area with sculptural shower pods, slick, curved loungers and an outdoor gym to sweat out the night before's hangover. With each room cleverly adapted to your needs via subtle under the bed lighting, lounge space and music themed decor you are in for a sleepover treat. Before you go make sure you check out the food from bao buns to the prettiest looking salads, even the fussiest of eaters will be best pleased.
THB Naeco Hotel Ibiza, Carrer Móstoles, s/n, 07820 Sant Josep de sa Talaia
Saturday: The Hangover Haven - Cotton Beach Club
Once you have got the taste of tequila out of your mouth you are going to be in desperate need of some R&R - and some food. Cotton Beach Club is the perfect mix of old Ibizan glamour and new Ibizan cool. On arrival don't be put off by the climb up to the restaurant: the stairs may be steep, but the view overlooking the blue waters of Cala Tarida is totally worth it (and will be sure to get rid of any residual hangover). With the menu covering everything from sushi to tacos, you will happily waste away hours eating, chatting and gramming the ridiculously good food and views. Before you know it, you'll be ready for another drink.
Cotton Beach Club, Carrer Posta de Sol, 21, 07829 Cala Tarida
Saturday: The Evening Out Out - STK Ibiza
If you've been to STK in London do not expect the same experience; this STK has been Ibiza'd. The food is still the same: great steak (in case you missed that), plus delicious fish and chicken dishes for the non Beefa beef-eaters. But don't get yourself too full, for there is dancing to be done. Take to the stage with a bevy of performers singing Moulin Rouge, Rihanna and Drake. What follows is 80s-style carnage of espresso martinis and Chaka Khan.
STK Ibiza, Hotel Corso C. Illa Plana S/N Ibiza Marina Botafoch 07800 Ibiza
Sunday: The Rave Dirty Eat Clean - The Skinny Kitchen
Just because you were 10 espresso martinis down at dinner does not mean you can't redeem yourself the following morning. Head over to The Skinny Kitchen in San Antoni for your matcha protein hangover hit. Locally sourced, natural ingredients make for some very colourful brunch choices: peanut protein pancakes, sweet potato eggs, and a juice list more extensive than any cocktail menu on the island. This is Ibiza with no regrets.
The Skinny Kitchen, No. 8 General Prim, Sant Antoni de Portmany
Sunday: The Unmissable Roast Dinner - Pikes Hotel
Possibly the most iconic pile of stones on the island, Pikes Hotel is now part of the infamous Ibiza Rocks portfolio. They bought it from the legendary Tony Pike - still a permanent Pikes resident - who has played host to everyone in his wonderland hotel: think Michael Jackson, George Michael, Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, Grace Jones... I could go on.
As well as all the hidden treasures and surprises to be found (definitely drop in to the Freddie Mercury karaoke bathroom), Pikes is famous for its roast dinner. Seated beneath dazzling disco balls and the Balearic sun, a Sunday roast is not the first meal that comes to mind, but trust me when I say it is the best roast dinner you will ever have. And, weirdly, it works a treat in the heat: a total island must.
Pikes Hotel, Camí Sa Vorera, S/N, 07820 Sant Antoni de Portmany