Words: Charlotte Cox
Festivals get strange, clubbing gets sparkly and sandcastles? They get all kinds of tasty. Welcome to your weekend...
COMEDY: Bullshit London
Information is great and all, but do you ever get the feeling that it’s all a bit too, y’know, informative? Like you’re in danger of learning stuff? Well fear not, for on this weekly comedy walking tour of the Southbank and Whitehall – which tells an alternative history of London also known as ‘BS’ – there is no danger of any education going on. Because why would you want facts when you can hear tales of exploding monarchs and mermaids, see ‘tributes of phallic emotion’ in the skyline or visit the ‘famous bin that Hugh Grant got off with in Love Actually’? Quite.
Every Thursday, 7pm; £10 Starts outside St Paul’s Cathedral, EC4M 8AD bullshitlondon.com
FOOD: Edible Vacation
No holidays? No problem! This pop-up supperclub will take care of all your vacay cravings in the space of three courses. Includes: edible sandcastles served with buckets and spades (woohoo), luxe fish n chips (obvs) and ice cream and candyfloss for grown-ups (yum), plus a retro-holiday themed decor, DJs and more cocktail umbrellas that you can shake a piña colada at. Does not include: excruciating car journeys with your family to get there. We’re in. 24 July; £40 for three courses, BYOB
Secret location, London N1 christabels.org
ART: Art of Burning Man
In brief: America’s coolest festival seen through the lens of one of the world’s coolest photographers, on display at Soho’s coolest new art gallery. There’s a word to describe this exhibition, but we just can’t put our finger on it… See for yourself at this new show, which covers 15 years of Burning Man festival via incredible prints by photographer NK Guy, and also features light artworks and a site-specific installation by artists Shuster + Moseley. Cool.
24 July-24 September; free Lights of Soho, 35 Brewer Street, London W1F 0RX lightsofsoho.com
SHOPPING: State of Independence
If there’s one thing that east London isn’t short on, it’s skinny jeans brilliant hipster markets. But this new monthly Hackney affair promises to be extra brilliant, because it involves RUM. Rum punch and rum cocktails, in fact, at the Soi Rum Bar. Of course, there’s also ultra-cool shopping courtesy of emerging London fashion designers, homeware makers and vintage sellers, plus music, art and street eats aplenty. It’s just that shopping’s always more fun when there’s rum, wouldn’t you say?
25-26 July; free The Village Green, Hackney Downs Studios E8 2BT stateofindependencemarket.co.uk
FILM: Feed Me Films presents Pulp Fiction
Fact: never has eating a cheeseburger seemed so cool as it does in Pulp Fiction. Come on, you can’t tell us that John Travolta didn’t give you a hankering for a ‘Royale With Cheese’. Well good news: here’s a chance to munch said burger while watching the movie, along with seven other taster courses cooked up by MEATLiquor and served in time with the action on screen. We’re feeling a $5 milkshake coming on… and this one’s hardened with bourbon. To help us ‘dance good’, you see.
24-25 July; £32 A cinema in Bermondsey, SE16 findmefilms.com
FILM: Paper Towns
OK, whether you should see this will depend on: 1) If you like teen coming-of-age dramas – it’s based on the bestselling young adult novel by John Green, who also wrote The Fault In Our Stars. 2) If like Cara Delevingne. The model takes on her first lead film role as the troubled Margot, the mysterious, vanishing love interest who leads her shy, geeky neighbour Quentin on a quest of self-discovery (did someone say ManicPixieDreamGirl?). 3) You like the idea of Cara Delevingne in a teen coming-of-age movie. If you answered yes to all three, see it for sure. (If not: run, run to the hills…)
Out 24 July in cinemas nationwide
FESTIVAL: Secret Garden Party
'Weird and wonderful' is an oft-used phrase, but this time we really mean it. Because now we're talking about Secret Garden Party, a festival so weird and so wonderful, it makes all others just seem 'meh'. The weird comes courtesy of secret spaces and tunnels, all manner of art, installations, costumes and lots and lots of glitter. The wonderful? How about sets by Jungle, Roots Manuva and The Correspondents, plus one almighty paint fight? Oh yes, and this year’s theme is ‘childish things’. Time to play.
24-26 July; from £63.50 Huntingdon, Cambridgeshire secretgardenparty.com
NIGHTLIFE: Defected Records presents Glitterbox
Q: How many mirror balls are too many mirror balls? A: There is NO SUCH THING. With this in mind, may we present the London debut of Glitterbox – the now-legendary Ibiza club night setting up shop at Ministry of Sound this weekend. A celebration of all things sparkly, expect visual excess in the form of spandex-clad dancers, mind-bending light displays, flamboyant costumes and confetti cannons, plus a synth-disco soundtrack from iconic French DJ Cerrone. Oh, and mirror balls. 200 of 'em.
25 Jul; from £20 Ministry of Sound, 103 Gaunt Street, Elephant & Castle SE1 6DP ministryofsound.com
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