Hun, are you nearly ready?
Yes! Stop hassling me I dont take that long to get ready, for a girl.
But Im lonely. I want you to have a drink with me before we leave.
Let me set the scene: New York. A hotel room with a floor-to-ceiling view of the Empire State Building. Mark, my boyfriend of seven years, nagging me to hurry up and get ready for dinner. Its our second night in the Big Apple, a city Ive always wanted to visit but never had the chance. Until now.
Weve got a table booked for dinner and, as usual, Ive left it till the last possible minute to get ready. So Im used to this routine. Five minutes till we have to leave, and finish my make-up and bound through to the bedroom to have a glass of wine with Mark.
Ive got you a present, he says, pulling out a flat, rectangular object wrapped in pink tissue paper.
Oh, thanks! not thinking that this is anything out of the ordinary, seeing as were here for my birthday.
Open it then
So I do. Inside, is a first edition of one of my favourite books, a book that Mark told me I had to read when we first got together: Heart Of A Dog by Mikhail Bulgakov (granted, not that romantic, but darkly comic and amazingly written).
Whys there a hole in it? Oh!
Inside, is an enamel and paper ring, made from the pages of the book itself. But, still, the penny doesnt drop (Ive never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the box).
Mark, by this point, has the expression of a man on the edge. I can practically see him internally screaming, Get there quicker, woman!
And so, he asks me to marry him. And I start crying. And say yes.