Hamish Bowles Auditions for the X-Factor

Has the dandified Editor at Large of US Vogue lost his mind? Has he been masquerading as a diehard fashion expert while secretly harbouring desires for pop stardom the whole time? Or, more likely, had he been goaded into singing in front of Simon Cowell by his infamous superior?

On his blog, Bowles describes receiving an email from his editor-in-chief, wherein was buried, ‘like a time bomb in a bouquet... this chilling sentence: “I have signed you up to compete in The X Factor.”’

And so Mr. Bowles turned up to the auditions under the guise of ‘Leo Mercuré’, a hairdresser living in New York who displays a dashing way with black eye makeup and a penchant for glittery slippers. There were no false assumptions or blind beliefs in his own talent – this is the man who once, as a boy, sang the solo at the Christmas carol service at Canterbury Catherdral. This may have been years before his voice even broke but hey, star quality is star quality.

Unfortunately, after 30 seconds of a warbly rendition of Britney’s ‘One More Time’, it was the sparkly studded shoes that stole the show. Paula Abdul called him ‘an exquisitely odd bird’ as he strode springily off the stage, to rapturous applause from the audience, but no golden ticket through to the next round.

At least Cowell didn’t give him a tongue-lashing – a dose of the third degree from Cowell and Ms Wintour in one day would be too much for anyone to handle.

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