Something for the Weekend Feb 12 - 14

FOR THE A-LIST LIFE: Grey Goose Le Bar des Étoiles

Baftas invite get lost in the post? Yeah, ours too. But despair not – we’ve lined up something even better. Because for one night only, Grey Goose is hosting a Valentine’s-meets-Baftas pop-up bar at the exclusive members’ club Home House. Here, you can knock back movie-inspired Grey Goose cocktails (the same ones the stars will be sipping at the after-parties, don’t you know), enjoy delicious canapés and watch full coverage of the ceremony – all with zero chance of bumping into Jude Law. See? Better.

14 Feb; £25 20 Grey Goose Le Bar des Étoiles, Portman Square London W1H 6LW GB 

FOR HARDENED CYNICS: York & Albany’s Bloody Valentine Cabin

Recently scorned? Suffering Tinder fatigue? Or just hate the sickly commercialism of the whole darned thing? Come, be among your people. Because at York & Albany’s Bloody Valentine’s Cabin, you’ll find no candlelit dinners or canoodling couples. You WILL, however, find blood-spattered walls, bitter cocktails, ‘broken hearts’ canapés and showings of cult horror classics (think Heathers, The Lost Boys etc). Let’s face it: who needs love when you’ve got a psychotic Christian Slater on a big projector screen?

11-14 Feb;  York & Albany, 127-129 Parkway, NW1 7PS; from £30 pp for 2.15 hr slot (cabin holds 6-8 people) 

FOR MUSOS: YolanDa Brown at Nell’s Jazz & Blues

By far the most distressing element of a typical Valentine’s night out is the soundtrack. Chris De Burgh, Wet Wet Wet and – oh god – James Blunt... MAKE. IT. STOP. NOW. But wait – it IS possible to spare your ears the yearly pain. We suggest you make straight for Nell’s Jazz & Blues in West Kensington, where MOBO-winning saxophonist YolanDa Brown will be putting a super-cool spin on classic love songs. Taking in reggae, jazz, soul and funk, and with collaborators including Mica Paris and Destiny’s Child’s Michelle Williams, these are sounds you’ll actually want to fall in love to.

14 Feb; £30 YolanDa Brown, 3 North End Crescent, W14 8TG 

FOR ART AFICIONADOS: Tyler Shields: Decadence

When photographer and fashion-world enfant terrible Tyler Shields names an exhibition ‘Decadence’, then you know it’s going to be – well – damned decadent. And this new show doesn’t disappoint, with young Hollywood hipsters (Tallulah Willis, Jaime King, Holland Roden) all trussed up as the court of Marie Antoinette – complete with feasts, flesh and one hell of a lot of wigs. Sumptuously shot and directly comparing today’s consumer culture with Madame Antoinette’s excesses, this is total baroque ’n’ roll.

Until 24 Feb; free The Maddox Gallery, 9 Maddox Street, Mayfair, W1S 2QE 

FOR A ‘LADY AND THE TRAMP’ MOMENT: Polpo Harvey Nichols

You remember the pasta scene. Lady, the Tramp, the string of spaghetti… In that moment, for a whole generation, Italian food became forever linked with romance. And there’s no better place to tuck into the food of love than at the newest branch of POLPO, which has just opened on the fifth floor of Harvey Nichols. Signature dishes include zucchini arancini, pizetta with spicy pork and polenta-encrusted meatballs (yum); while the prosecco is plentiful and the vibe is ‘rustic back-street wine bar’. Aka: ‘Just like in Lady & The Tramp’. Happy sigh. Now open Harvey Nichols, 109-125 Knightsbridge, SW1X 7RJ

FOR FOODIES: Market Yard

If you’re Valentinesing with the kind of foodie who likes to be on to the Next Big Thing before anyone else has called it the Next Big Thing (because by that point, it’s invariably already a Thing), this is for you. A new 12-week project from street-food fair Feast, it’s essentially a huge dress rehearsal for two exciting, yet-to-open restaurants – Foley’s Tasting Kitchen (10 Feb-20 Mar) and Made of Dough (23 March-1 May). At Foley’s, ex-Palomar chef Mitz Vora creates Spice-Trail-inspired dishes – ribeye cap steak, spiced sweet potato fritter – for you to try before anyone else. Being a guinea pig has never been so tasty.

10 Feb-1 May Shepherd’s Bush Yard, Goldhawk Road, W12 8HA Wefeast.co.uk

FOR ‘CREATIVE’ TYPES: Erotic Cake Decorating at The Book Club

Do we need to elaborate on the title of this event? Really? Oh, OK: it’s learning to decorate cakes. Erotically. With added booze and prizes, at Shoreditch venue The Book Club. So it’s not just a quirky-cool Valentine’s outing, it’s learning a valuable life skill. If you aspire to giving Mary Berry quite the shock on Bake Off, anyway…

13 Feb; £7 The Book Club, 100-106 Leonard St, EC2A 4RH 

FOR FILM BUFFS: Casino in the Casino

So you know how Scorsese’s Casino is one of the coolest films ever made? Well, here’s your chance to actually live it (well, without the mob links and murder and all that). Immersive film outfit Feed Me Cinema are hosting special screenings of the film in – you guessed it – a real live casino. The iconic Hippodrome, no less, where you’ll be treated to a two-course steak dinner, drinks, cabaret, gambling and – of course – the movie itself. Because nothing says ‘I love you’ like watching Joe Pesci getting whacked in a cornfield.

13 & 27 Feb; £45 Feed Me Cinema, The Hippodrome Casino, Leicester Square, WC2H 7JH 

FOR COCKTAIL CONNOISSEURS: London Menu at The Savoy

It may be served at the American Bar, but The Savoy’s new cocktail list is as British as Stephen Fry in a Beefeater costume. Not only is it called the London Menu, but it’s inspired by the six boroughs that surround the hotel – with each represented by four truly inventive cocktails. Trust us when we tell you they are GOOD. We started in Hackney with a City Lights (vodka, cocca rosi, Moët), headed to Camden for an Unfinished Art (cognac, becherovka, root beer), and finished at Westminster with real showstopper: The Pickering Place. A two-cocktail platter served with a short film to watch (really), one involves gin, Campari and champagne; the other Jack Daniel’s and coffee. Share with a significant other, sip both to yourself – either way, Valentine’s just got special. Available now American Bar, The Savoy, Strand, WC2R 0EU