The world’s biggest dating site told Lisa Reich that there are no suitable matches for her…in the WHOLE WORLD.

So she wrote about it in the May issue of ELLE in No Matches Found.

Each month, Lisa writes about the highs and lows and weird and wonderful moments from the dating front line in ELLE.

But what better way for us to get to know more about ELLE’s Undateable than with her online dating profile?

Lisa Reich - dating profile

Username: ELLEUndatable78
Age: 33
Star sign: Scorpio
Nationality: Welsh
Hair: Long, dark brown
Eyes: Green
Rates looks: Very attractive
Body type: Slim and athletic
Height: 5’5
Romantic Very
WLTM: 7ft werewolf-type who drives a Hummer and hasn't used cash since 1992.

About me

Have had more horses than boyfriends, but that is because I have not met The One yet. Am very romantic so really believe he is out there – somewhere. I am stubborn and my temper, I am told, is a terrible thing to behold.

But I am also loyal and if a person was to hurt a hair on anyone I care for, man or beast, I would beat them up (I box and am very good!).

I love all animals and spend most of my time outdoors. But even though I like countryside I am well dressed, take grooming seriously and would never wear an Alice band and pearl stud earrings.

I’m looking for

At least 6’4 with a well muscled body and no excess fat. Must be good looking, clean, kind, solvent and a passion for animals absolutely essential.

Must know who Hedi Slimane is and have attractive feet. And be romantic.

Follow Lisa on Twitter @ELLEundateable