A 30th birthday party is widely recognised as one of the biggest milestone in a young person's life, up there with graduating, first-time house buys and babies.
It's a time to celebrate the end of your raucous, rum and coke-filled twenties. An occasion to welcome a new age of (fingers crossed) maturity, saving up for *gulp* a house deposit, and successfully making your own way home after a night out without Big Mac in hand.
'It’s a huge milestone and milestone’s only come every few years,' explains Marc Ahmed, director of leading UK events company Scarlet Events. 'Sweet 16th, 18th, 21st and then 30th. It’s when most people mature and want something classy rather than flamboyant, it's about finesse and elegance.'
Will Gonzaga, head of event operations at The Curtain, agrees. 'It has always has been a big moment, in my opinion,' he says. 'When you are in your late 20s it becomes really scary, but it’s surprisingly liberating once you reach it.'
However, this celebration can also bring with it a sh*t load of stress, anxiety, and a pretty big dent to your already dwindling finances.
Add in the fact that you not only have to think about your own finances and busy schedule, but those of friends who know all too well the pricelessness of a) a wedding-free weekend and b) not forking out for yet another £200 on a hen do. And, given that the Coronavirus pandemic has played havoc with our party plans and annual leave, it will likely mean you'll have to completely rethink your party altogether over the next year.
Now that lockdown restrictions have all but lifted, wedding and party planner Henry Bonas imagines people will now want to go 'bigger and bigger' with their parties. 'People are desperate to see their friends, drink, dance and be merry. I think the summer is going to be one big party.
'I think people will look at the last year and think "life is pretty short". You don't know what's around the corner - you've got to have fun.'
As a result, we thought it was about time we equipped you with your very own guide to 30th birthday ideas and exactly how to plan the ultimate celebration.
From when to book the venue and what food to serve, to how to make sustainability a key focus of your decorations, here's everything you need to know about ushering in your dirty thirties, in style.
Theme
Choosing a theme for the 30th birthday is one of the biggest challenges for a host or hostess.
'Themes are always fun – they can reflect someone’s personality but you need to be careful not to fall flat,' notes Gonzaga. 'Once upon a time, masquerade parties were quite popular but they seem to be going out of fashion these days.
'In previous years, we've seen a few Brexit themed 30th birthday parties, which will probably be dated in 10 year’s time, but it marks a historic moment. My themes last year were Met Gala, Peaky Blinders and Studio 54.'
'It all depends on your taste and personality,' adds Ahmed. 'We’ve done a very interesting dark circus theme which was a great surprise for the client.
'For an American client we turned her conservatory into Buckingham Palace for a Royal-themed party complete with Queen Elizabeth, Will and Kate!'
Here's a list of basic ideas for your 30th birthday party:
- The End of My Roaring 20s
- Dirty Thirty Camping
- 1980s Or 1990s Flashback
- Great Gatsby
- Trip Down Memory Lane
- Vintage
To help you decide on a theme, start with your drinks menu and consult an expert mixologist.
Ahmed suggests: 'Write about yourself in 150 words and hand it to a drinks consultant. They’ll want to know what you are like as a person, your favourite drink on a good day, what do your friends call you and why, so let them put together a masterpiece cocktail to serve at your party.'
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Decor
When it comes to choosing the perfect decor for your party, first consider your surroundings.
'Look at your setting and the rest will fall into place, but always remember to be unique and different, how can you add a twist?' says Ahmed. 'Don’t ever worry about ideas as they only backfire when you try to mix too many different elements together. It must all flow as one.'
Start with the basics: confetti balloons, bunting, and centrepieces. To ensure decorations are tasteful, not tacky, start small and work your way up.
'Being subtle is always a good idea and less is generally more but consider the nature of the party and the venue, sometimes more can be a good thing,' Ahmed added.
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When hiring your own space, you can take more control over decorations, especially when sourcing them from eco-friendly and sustainable brands.
'Recycled pom-pom walls/ceiling installations; dehydrated flowers and living plants are great options,' says Gonzaga. 'Balloon installations are hugely popular these days but unfortunately, they are not biodegradable.
'Finding a venue which is already kitted out and beautiful helps to reduce your parties carbon footprint and also saves you some money on decorations.'
For an outdoor occasion, make use of candles, flowers and foliage that are already in place, rather than sourcing from expensive shops and consider ways you can re-use them in future.
'Flowers are always a good choice as they are organic waste. Alternatively a good option is to hire items that can be re-used such as candelabras and props,' says Ahmed. 'Silver and gold confetti is a strict no-no.'
Large tissue paper pom-poms, colourful streamers, and ribbons are also a great alternative to helium balloons.
Whitney Bromberg Hawkings, founder of FLOWERBX, also suggests considering your tablescape - the art of setting a table which has become a huge trend on social media in recent months, with #tablescape having been tagged in over 1.4 tagged posts.
‘No effort that goes into the table goes unnoticed, and no details is too small to consider,’ she says. For a first rule of thumb, the founder advises hosts to ‘keep it tonal’.
‘From the flowers to the crockery and candles, sticking to one general colour in different hues creates a harmonious (and photogenic) table. There are great rental companies too, like Maison Margaux who come from luxury fashion background, which make it easier to go “all out” without breaking the bank and remain sustainable,' she adds.
When it comes to making a party as eco-friendly as possible, Bromberg Hawkings also suggests opting for vintage and elegant touches, such as napkin holders from Kempton Market (Sunbury-on-Thames) or brass salt pepper shakers from Etsy. As for where to go to for inspiration, Instagram handles like @THEFLOWERBX, @casadeperrin, @tabledecor_rj, and @mrsalice are some of the founder's favourites.
In addition, call up friends and relatives who have hosted similar parties and see if there's anything you can borrow or hire for the occasion. Following the party, sell any items you won't use again on digital sale platforms such as eBay and Facebook Marketplace .
When it comes to finances, Mike Walker, managing director of MGN Events, advises: 'Before planning your party, ask yourself what is the most important factor - be it food, entertainment, or decorations - and set the budget accordingly.
'The venue will play a massive part in choosing the theme for the night. If the venue suits the budget, you can afford to spend less on decorations and stretch it in different ways to tailor-make the perfect party.'
Dress Code
Having spent hours trawling through ASOS, bookmarking ELLE UK's 100 Best Party Dresses gallery, and ordering countless outfits from Net-A-Porter, we know all too well the rigmarole of finding the perfect party outfit.
But when it comes to hosting a party, the hostess should stand out from the crowd, whether it's in sequins and sparkles, or a certain coloured outfit and costume.
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'Once you have set the dress code for your guests, you know what they’ll be wearing so come in something unique that really stands out,' says Ahmed.
Whatever you do, don't make your guests wear something that you wouldn't.
Music
Whether it's The Killers' 'Mr Brightside' or Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing', there's always that one song that'll make you want to either hurl up a glass of prosecco or have you flailing your arms about come 4am on the dance floor.
To avoid the former, choose early on whether you book a DJ or make your own Spotify playlist with all your favourite tunes.
'You should know your crowd and guest list so first make a list of songs/genre’s you hate, then add songs that you know your guests won’t dance to - this should be given to the DJ along with an idea of what you do like,' says Ahmed.
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'If you’re unsure then chart hits usually work, but the DJ should be good enough to read the crowd and change up the music when needed.
'A good DJ would set you back around £1,000 per night but celeb DJ’s (and we’ve booked quite a few) can start from £50k and hit over £1m+ for someone like Calvin Harris. That is for a two hour set. Use Spotify as a last resort during dinner if you’re on a budget but never when you have a dance floor.'
Invitations
In the history of parties, no one has ever had a clear idea of who, and how many, people to invite to a shindig. Fact.
And, let's face it, you're always going to forget that one person in the office, your mate's on/off other half, and that girl you're kind-of-kind-of-not friends with from university.
'Start off by making two guest lists, an A-list for guests that you definitely want to invite and a B-list for guests to invite as backup,' says Ahead, looking ahead to once lockdown lifts.
Brutal, but we're into it.
'Once you know your A-list then you should start to look at venues that will hold your number of chosen guests. Send your save the dates eight-months to a year in advance and your invitations between three to four months prior, depending on the location.'
As for the debate for paper over digital invites, Walker says: 'Paper invites are popular for more traditional events (weddings, older birthday parties). However, we've seen a rise in millennial clients using bespoke pictures on Whatsapp or over email as a quicker and environmentally-friendly alternative.
'The power of the digital age has meant that the speed of delivery and receiving an R.S.V.P is almost instantaneous while still conveying the theme, dress code and key information in a picture or digital file.'
Gonzaga concurs, adding that nowadays people rarely know or even make a not of their friends' address. 'Facebook is still the best way to get the message out there,' he explains. 'It’s easy to keep all information available in one place and keep all your friends updated of any changes.'
Meanwhile, Bonas says that while e-invites are popular, there are ways to incorporate more traditional but sustainable versions into your party planning.
'You can also get invites designed out of sustainable paper and recycled card,' he says. 'Likewise, seasonal food and flowers an be sourced from local British suppliers. You don't necessarily need to buy produce or products that are flown in from elsewhere. This country has a lot of homegrown foods, wines, drinks and spirits,' he adds.
Party favours
Having forked out on the venue, decorations and food, party bags are often a sore point. After all, it's your birthday. Why should you have to spend money on other people?
Ahmed admits that traditional ideas of party bags - a slice of cake, a small bottle of your favourite alcohol - have pretty much gone out the window.
'We haven’t done favours for a long time, but we’re usually asked to organise a luxury gift bag with lots of goodies that is put in the guest’s hotel room on arrival as a welcome or on the night of the party as a parting gift,' he says.
'Usually it includes luxury gifts from the local area and some necessities such as heel stoppers, power banks and novelties such as polaroid cameras etc.'
The most important thing to consider when it comes to giving guests party favours, however, is for the gift to make sense.
'A party favour has to have a real meaning to you and something your guests can relate to. Before spending money on party favours, ask yourself: "Will this mean something to my guests?" If not, spend the money elsewhere.'
If you're on a budget, here's our favourite list of items to give your guests as a token from your party:
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Food
To pizza, or not to pizza. That is (always) the question.
For some people, a slice of ham and pineapple pizza and a homemade chocolate brownie is more than enough for a helping at a party. For others, the sight of a salmon-coated canapé will immediately have them dreaming up their takeaway on the bus ride home.
So you really need to think about what kind of spread you're putting out for your guests well ahead of time.
Walker says: 'Nearly all our clients under 30s want what is known as a "survivors breakfast" – late night bites consisting of wood fired oven pizzas, bacon sandwiches, and cheese of toast. Guests love to think you've taken the time to consider how hungry they'll be later on in the night.'
As for choosing whether to put on a spread or mini bites, Gonzaga argues that it entirely depends on your budget.
He says: 'If you can afford to throw a lavish dinner party at a trendy location, why not! Just don’t expect your friends to have to pay for it as it might come across as insincere.'
Asking guests to notify you of their dietary requirements is also a rule of thumb.
'You never want to be the person that put your guests in hospital so always add it to your invitations, so they can notify you when they R.S.V.P,' says Ahmed.
'You would be surprised how many guests with severe allergies forget to inform you of their dietary requirements.
'Good food is a must, we all know that but try to cater to all of your guests as there is nothing worse than a guest who travels all that way to find they can’t eat anything.
Whether you're staying in an Airbnb for the weekend or renting out a local bar for the night, consider transportation and the location of supermarkets nearby head of time.
Sophie, 29-year-old, from Liverpool is currently in the swings of planning her 30th birthday party in February 2019.
'I've planned a weekend away with 18 friends to a big house in the Peak District,' she tells ELLE UK. 'I've booked a private chef. We did it for my best friends hen do and it worked so well. As a result, I know I won't have to worry about being loud in a restaurant and, better yet, there's no washing up!'
Venue
Finding a house big enough to accommodate your friends for the night, let alone for the weekend is a challenge worthy of an Olympic medal.
Coupled with the fact locations can get booked up as far as 18 months in advance, with prices soaring the closer your are to D-day, and it's no wonder most of us would consider hosting a small shindig in our local Zizzis for our 30th birthdays.
Bonas notes: 'People are keen to have house parties in amazing rental properties. Instead of one night of partying, people prefer to do weekends now - arriving on a Thursday, partying on a Friday night, having a dinner party on the Saturday before finishing with a brunch on the Sunday. Outdoors are increasingly becoming popular too, with activities such as pub lunches on the rise. People are looking for a longer experience.'
However, if you are looking to rent out an Airbnb or larger venue for your party, Ahmed suggests you should go with your gut.
'If you have to cut the guest list to make it work then so be it, but you should never look back and regret the venue that you chose,' he says.
Practicality, location, budget (yours and your friends'), capacity and catering options are important things to consider.
However, Ahmed adds: 'Don’t forget to haggle when it comes to the price, there is always room for a reduction but book well in advance as the most popular venues are always booked 12-18 months before.'
'I did a lot of Googling to find a suitable venue, and ended up choosing one from the holiday house owners website,' says Sophie. 'I wanted something with a 'wow' factor and with lots of areas to socialise. This place has a cinema room, snooker table and a hot tub.'
When it comes to securing the perfect sport, a spokesperson from Airbnb advises: 'Contact the host before booking to ensure that they are comfortable hosting an event in their home.
'If you’re thinking about throwing a 30th birthday dinner party in the Cotswolds, or hosting a wedding in the south of France - you’ll need to check that the host is happy with your request before booking.'
Happy celebrating!
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Katie O'Malley is the Site Director on ELLE UK. On a daily basis you’ll find Katie managing all digital workflow, editing site, video and newsletter content, liaising with commercial and sales teams on new partnerships and deals (eg Nike, Tiffany & Co., Cartier etc), implementing new digital strategies and compiling in-depth data traffic, SEO and ecomm reports. In addition to appearing on the radio and on TV, as well as interviewing everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Rishi Sunak PM, Katie enjoys writing about lifestyle, culture, wellness, fitness, fashion, and more.
