We use the phrase Big Mood too much. And by we I mean me and the 20-year-old cool kids I follow on Twitter. But if ever a mood was Big, it's The Queen Dispassionately Watching Insecure Horses at the Royal Windsor Horse Show. This the Biggest of Moods. A Big Mood Royale. A Mood Jubilee, if you will.
Honestly, I don't know what you're supposed to look for when judging horses, but this ain't it. This horse did not know the words to the lip-sync, their wig was crooked, and their makeup was a scandal. Have you ever seen a face more unimpressed? She's like, 'BoJack Horseman, sashayeth awayeth.' (That's how queens talk; I watch The Crown.)
Wow, RIP to literally every other meme as well that horse's sense of self-worth. The Queen trying to determine what the foal is going on in here on this day is the look of the year. I look at the Queen's scowl and that horse's bowed head and my whole being hurts. I feel like I should talk about this photo in therapy.
The Queen grimacing at a horse who would very much like to be excluded from this narrative is me squinting at a dessert cart at a restaurant that's trying to pass off a cupcake with sprinkles like they're really doing something. Oh, it's a confetti cake from an original recipe? Not on my watch. You better light a Baked Alaska on fire toute suite before I Yelp this place to the ground.
And below, that's me walking into a clothing store trying to figure out what's happening on a mannequin and why it's in my personal space.
'Is it a smock? Is it a hoodie? Is it a robe? Why is it?'
Her Royal Highness had a facial expression for all of life's many difficult questions and statements at the horse show:
'When Will This Person Stop Talking?'
'Oh, That Tea is Piping Hot!'
'Just Who Do You Think You're Talking To?'
'Why Do I Eat Sour Patch Kids? They're So Sour!'
'I'm Teaching Myself the Drum Solo From 'In The Air Tonight.''
'That Horse Is My Mortal Enemy and I Will Destroy It.'
And, of course, 'All of This Displeases Me.'
Long live the Meme Queen Queen!
R. Eric Thomas is a columnist for ELLE.com, where he skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude. He is also the author of Here for It: Or, How to Save Your Soul in America, a memoir-in-essays.
