Historically, there is a cultural adversity towards ageing, particularly if you're a woman. We're cautioned against wearing certain things, that our faces will sag and that we will grow tired of our romantic relationships. We're advised to buy beauty products to diminish wrinkles or to invest in preventative botox so that you don't get them in the first place. We are reminded, constantly, of our biological clock, and there's a sense that the space for fun gets smaller as we get older.
Older but Better, but Older: The Parisian art of growing up
Older but Better, but Older: The Parisian art of growing up
The reality is that lifestyles, appearances and preferences do change as we age, but that's no bad thing. Chanel ambassador Caroline de Maigret and her best friend Sophie Mas have written a witty take on growing older; the book Older but Better, but Older, projects a delightfully Parisian approach to adulthood. The two best-selling authors of How to be Parisian make a strong case for the serenity that develops with maturity, and knowledge. It might come at the cost of the odd laughter line or irritating comment about 'looking so good for your age,' but we can all agree that self-acceptance and inner confidence trump pretty much everything.
Here, De Maigret debunks some of the most tired, yet commonplace misconceptions about ageing. Because, really, the best is yet to come.
Myth 1: You can’t wear certain things
'Your body asks for a change because there is stuff that doesn’t work on you anymore. For me, preppy stuff doesn’t work, so I’ve changed my style - but not in a society-enforced way. My style has become more feminine. I feel now that I can be powerful, successful and feminine. Especially in the music industry, I previously felt I had to be close to a man’s wardrobe to be taken seriously. I’ve let go of that. I’m more into style than fashion now. Chanel has to be very efficient in my wardrobe these days because I value one piece more than loads.
I love the uniform of style. I love having pieces I can wear again and again through the years, but it takes time to know what those are. For example, today I had to get up early to get the train, so I chose my dependable black turtle neck. It’s elegant, but there’s still a rock ‘n’ roll vibe that I like to have. It's about finding pieces that will be friends even when you're super tired or rushed. This comes with knowledge and time, but also listening to people when they give you compliments. It’s nice to remember them. When I wear a white blouse, people always ask if I’ve been away for a weekend in the country – it must be good for my complexion.'
Myth 2: You have less fun
'Humour becomes better with age. With knowledge that you acquire with time, and with the love you grow for yourself – because that’s the only key to being truly OK – humour comes easily. If you’re British, you’re naturally even funnier... you’ll definitely be alright.'
Myth 3: You become invisible
'I’m not there yet, but I understand people when they talk about it. It’s a fact, and it must be very difficult. Regardless of age and changing appearance, women should have the strength to understand that they’re still allowed to project themselves into action and ideas. I was close friends with Nouvelle Vague director Agnes Varda, who died last year when she was 91. She became a modern artist in the last 10 years of her life; she always followed her dreams. Age was never an excuse for anything. If you manage to build this inner strength, it will help. In terms of relationships with men or women, it’s the same. If you stay positive and sunny, that’s key – you’ll attract people. I always say this in relation to the greatest fashion muses – they never were the most beautiful women, but they were the wittiest, the quirkiest or the funniest. Those traits last forever.'
Myth 4: Your relationship becomes stale
'Absolutely not. You get to know yourself better with age and how to be kinder to yourself and, in turn, to others. You also understand what frightens you, what gives you anxiety, and how to escape it when you feel it rising. All this builds a more secure, balanced relationship. Everything is easier and more serene. You go straight to the deeper conversations, which I find way cooler. I have been with someone for 15 years, and I've learnt to live with someone and not to wait for anything. I don’t expect anything from my boyfriend; he’s just adding joy, pleasure and great conversation. It’s about maintaining a balance – and this is the same for friendship too – seeking pleasure from someone’s company. When the balance is on the upside, you manage the downside.'
Myth 5: You become less curious
'When people get scared, perhaps they become less open-minded. Some people are scared of change, and when you struggle to keep up with those changes – for example, when you find the television impossible to fix... when you give up, it can change your outlook. I hope most people try to stay open-minded and interested.'
Older But Better, But Older – The Art of Growing up - by Caroline de Maigret and Sophie Mas, published by Ebury Press, £16.99
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